Do you and your partner struggle with parenting differences? Is it possible to work through and release resentment? Do you want to get back to loving your husband as your best friend?

Let me re-introduce myself!

The website has had a facelift, and what better way for you to get to know me is by me answering your questions! So here goes! In this podcast I will be answering all your questions on Communication, Parenting Styles, Resentment and so much more. 

Summary

• How to talk without fighting
• Navigating different parenting styles
• Is it possible to only have to ask once?
• How to get back to loving on one another
• How to work through resentment

How to talk without fighting

When you and your partner need to discuss something important that you both care about, maybe in different ways, it can be easy for things to get heated when you both feel like you aren’t being listened to.

Anytime that we start an argument or start a discussion, and it started harshly, recent studies show that it has a 96% chance that the conversation is going to go south very quickly! (Veronica Cisneros)

So, how you start the conversation is important. Pay attention to where you are emotionally before you start talking because if your emotions are high then that conversation won’t go anywhere.

You have the ability to self-regulate – the problem is that you don’t, because you have not learned how to take full control of your emotions, this is why you’re blowing up, but you’re blowing up on the wrong person. (Veronica Cisneros)

You both need to take time to ground yourself and be calm before you talk about an important issue.

Navigating different parenting styles

You both likely grew up in homes with very different parenting styles, and these can clash if you have your own children together to raise.

Listen to my episode The 5 Common Mistakes Couples Make When Parenting because I cover all there is to know about navigating a difference in parenting approaches. 

You and your husband should consider:

• What are your non-negotiables?
• What are you flexible on?
• What did you learn about the roles of a mother and a father growing up in your childhood homes?

If you want to learn how to agree on a parenting style, then find out what this looks like for both of you. (Veronica Cisneros)

Neither you nor your husband can show up as the best mother and father you can be for your kids without you supporting one another.

Is it possible to only have to ask once?

Yes, it is possible! But you might need to ask more than once in the beginning.

Consider the patterns of your relationship. How do you approach him? Do you end up redoing the task after he’s done it? What usually happens?

You’re not setting the boundary, and you’re basically teaching your husband; “I’m going to ask you and then I’m going to do it, so don’t worry about doing it.”, it doesn’t work. (Veronica Cisneros)

You need to set boundaries with him – and yourself – and stick to them.

Also, consider opening up an honest and open conversation. Use the script:

“I’ve noticed that whenever I … I’m met with kickback, and I’m not sure what this is …”

How to get back to loving on one another

When couples have been stuck in unhealthy patterns for so long, things can become toxic. Luckily, it is possible to reverse and get out of this situation.

Ask yourself: how is this toxicity benefitting you? How has it served you? Or give you excuses or protect you from taking accountability or responsibility?

Eventually, you won’t need that anymore. Eventually, you’ll remove that wall of toxicity … and both meet in the middle and join hands … but you will both connect again because you will both have worked on it and understood it. (Veronica Cisneros)  

Identify where the toxicity is present, and write it down. Isolate it. Then look behind it, and what it is stopping you from doing.

Listen to my podcast episode The Five Common Mistakes Couples Make When They Argue to get some deeper insight.

How to work through resentment

When did you lose your best friend?

When did you stop being his best friend?

When did you start keeping score? Why are you keeping score?

Resentment builds and builds over time; it doesn’t develop all at once. It is the silent killer of relationships, unless you notice it, and work backward, and reset the way forward.

What is keeping you from recommitting to each other and working on the relationship together? (Veronica Cisneros)

Listen to my podcast Keeping Score – How to Work Through Resentment for more tips and information.

Arguments are bound to happen, but they do not have to turn ugly and build that resentment. So, you can learn how to disagree with love and compassion, and still solve problems.

Listen to my episode How to Have Arguments Without Hurting One Another.

Useful links:

• Join our FaceBook Page – Empowered and Unapologetic
• Follow me on Instagram
• Check out the new website! https://veronicacisneros.org/
• Outside The Norm Counseling – 951 395 3288 call to schedule an appointment today!
• A Better Marriage Couple’s Retreat spots are OPEN – Book here
• 5 Things that are Killing your Marriage Free Guide available at www.veronicacisneros.org
• Mentioned podcast episode: https://veronicacisneros.org/episode138/
• Mentioned podcast episode: https://veronicacisneros.org/episode137/
• Mentioned podcast episode: https://veronicacisneros.org/episode111/
• Mentioned podcast episode: https://veronicacisneros.org/episode109/
• Mentioned podcast episode: https://veronicacisneros.org/episode151 

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Hello, my name is Veronica Cisneros, I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Marriage Coach, Course Creator, Retreat Host, Mother of 3, married for 23 years, host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast, and owner of a group private practice called Outside The Norm Counseling.

A lot of couples struggle with setting aside intentional time to connect and communicate. They yearn for meaningful conversations that don’t lead to arguments.

1 month away from divorce, I realized I had to do something different. For years I had compromised myself to meet the needs of my husband and my child, I lost myself and was about to lose my marriage. After years of personal growth and self-reflection, I not only reclaimed my identity, and celebrated 23 years of marriage but also helped hundreds of couples transform their marriage from feeling like roommates to experiencing a deeper love.

I am on a mission to help couples reignite the fire by providing them with the skills to have the relationship they deserve.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or do the Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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