Are you good friends with your partner? Have you felt that you and your partner are drifting from one another? Do you want to make a positive change in your relationship that will uplift and support it in the long run?

In this podcast episode, I talk about the 6 secrets to a successful marriage. I have been there, I have done the work, and you can too!

Summary

• Friendship
• Communication
• Respect
• Keep the romance alive
• Learn to forgive
• Work as a team

Friendship

Your best friend is this sacred relationship that right there is the number one secret for a successful marriage, being best of friends. (Veronica Cisneros)

Marriage is a beautiful thing, but it does require a huge amount of commitment, love, and effort to make it work, and when you are good friends with the person that you are married to – you like them and you want to spend time with them – it makes it a little easier!

Have fun together, play with one another, and have a joyful, flirtatious banter!

Imagine you and your best friend are out on the town together for date night, and the kids are being taken care of at home, what would you do two? What would you laugh about? Talk about?

To build a strong and successful marriage you have to be the best of friends. One of the ways that Willie and I have built this very strong friendship is that we are open and honest about the flaws that we bring into the marriage from our personal lives. (Veronica Cisneros)

Being friends with someone very likely guarantees honesty and self-awareness, and additionally, a non-possessiveness. You and your partner treat each other with love and respect, not ownership or obligation.

When you and your partner are friends, you assume the other has the best intentions instead of constantly judging them or making them the enemy. If you are not friends with your partner, then you might run the risk of becoming his mother.

Communication

Yes, communication is important, but it becomes much easier when you have a friendship in place with your partner.

Communication is essential. It is important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner and share your thoughts and feelings, and concerns with each other. Listen to each other to understand each other’s perspectives. (Veronica Cisneros)

It all comes together. When you are friends, you have each other’s best interests at heart and feel that each other is trying, so that when you communicate you work as a team and not against one another.

However, if the friendship is weak – or non-existent – then communication can become difficult because neither of you feels that the other is telling the truth or being fully honest, which can make vulnerability difficult.

Respect

If you feel that your partner does not respect you, then you need to shift the conversation another way and consider whether or not you respect yourself.

Because if you do not respect yourself, if you do not uphold or enforce boundaries with yourself too, your partner might see that – or subconsciously feel it.

You need to treat yourself with respect too because sometimes people will treat you the way that you treat yourself.

Absolutely you have to set boundaries. Why haven’t you set them? There might be a lack of respect for yourself. Hence the reason why there are no boundaries set. (Veronica Cisneros)

If you set the boundaries and uphold them, he cannot disrespect them without feeling the consequence. What are your consequences, and are you enforcing them?

Keep the romance alive

Romance is an important part of any successful marriage. Keep the spark alive by doing things you both enjoy. Surprise each other with small gestures of love and appreciation. How are you keeping the romance alive? (Veronica Cisneros)

Use this tactic: if you find yourself saying, “I don’t have time to keep the romance alive in my marriage”, then switch that up and say, “It’s not a priority to keep the romance alive in my marriage”. How does it feel to say that?

If it feels bad, then you need to make it a priority and make time for it. List four things that you can do to bring the spark back to your marriage and keep it burning. 

Learn to forgive

This is an important step for any relationship, especially marriage.

You and your partner need to learn to forgive one another for mistakes because holding grudges can lead to resentment which damages a relationship in many ways.

Resentment can get you to keep score against your partner which slowly turns them into the enemy.

When you are willing to learn to forgive, this adds a bonus to the relationship because you don’t feel like you’re serving jail time to your partner. (Veronica Cisneros)

Without forgiveness, the past is always present, and that makes it difficult for anyone to move forward and create a future together.

Of course, forgiveness can be difficult. It is more than okay to seek professional help if you need some help moving through forgiveness with your partner.

What are some things that you are willing to forgive to move forward? Remember, you don’t have to compromise yourself, so what are you willing to forgive without losing yourself?

Work as a team

Marriage is a partnership. Support each other to achieve the goals of the marriage and those that you each have in your personal lives.

Remember, you do not have to do this work alone! I am looking forward to working with you and helping you at each stage of the process. Investing in yourself and your marriage is invaluable, and it can be done!

Useful links:

• Join our FaceBook Page – Empowered and Unapologetic
• FREE masterclass! Marriage Communication CPR
• Take the Marriage Predictor quiz!
• Follow me on Instagram
• Check out the new website! https://veronicacisneros.org/
• Outside The Norm Counseling – 951 395 3288 call to schedule an appointment today!
• 5 Things that are Killing your Marriage Free Guide available at www.veronicacisneros.org

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Hello, my name is Veronica Cisneros, I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Marriage Coach, Course Creator, Retreat Host, Mother of 3, married for 23 years, host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast, and owner of a group private practice called Outside The Norm Counseling.

A lot of couples struggle with setting aside intentional time to connect and communicate. They yearn for meaningful conversations that don’t lead to arguments.

1 month away from divorce, I realized I had to do something different. For years I had compromised myself to meet the needs of my husband and my child, I lost myself and was about to lose my marriage. After years of personal growth and self-reflection, I not only reclaimed my identity, and celebrated 23 years of marriage but also helped hundreds of couples transform their marriage from feeling like roommates to experiencing a deeper love.

I am on a mission to help couples reignite the fire by providing them with the skills to have the relationship they deserve.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or do the Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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