Do you feel neglected in your marriage? How can you make genuinely positive changes in your marriage? Are you neglecting your needs as well as the needs of your partner?

Far too often I hear the same topics come up with the couples in my private practice. In this podcast episode, I talk about the 5 habits that destroy marriages.

Summary

• Lack of communication
• Infidelity 
• Neglecting your partner
• Constant criticism
• Refusing to compromise

Lack of communication

Communication is the key to a healthy relationship. When couples stop communicating with each other, it can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and ultimately the breakdown of the relationship. (Veronica Cisneros)

One of the biggest reasons why a lack or breakdown of communication is dangerous to a marriage is because it can signal that your friendship with your partner has suffered.

Ultimately, the reason why you guys aren’t communicating at the level you want to communicate is because that friendship of being the best of friends has died. Neither of you has shown interest in each other’s lives, and neither of you has taken the time to get to know your partner. (Veronica Cisneros)

You and your spouse need to be friends! As well as partners. You need to feel like you can be vulnerable with each other, be honest, and loving, and see one another as equals in a team instead of going against one another.

Infidelity 

Infidelity is one of the most common reasons for divorce. Cheating on your partner can cause irreparable damage to the trust and intimacy in your relationship.

You and your partner must have an open conversation about what infidelity looks like to each of you otherwise you might not know if you are crossing something that’s a boundary for your partner.

In addition to that, it is extremely important that you guys also identify your areas of flexibility. (Veronica Cisneros)

Have this conversation now, even before any issues arise, so that you can proactively avoid them.

Neglecting your partner

Neglecting your partner can be just as damaging to your intimacy and trust as cheating.

When you stop paying attention to your partner’s needs and desires, it can lead to feelings of loneliness and resentment. (Veronica Cisneros)

Why do you feel neglected in your marriage? It may very well stem as a symptom of the fact that you two are not communicating with one another.

Be honest with yourself: have you neglected your partner? How? Be real with yourself, and be honest. If you want to make positive changes in your marriage and in your relationship, you need to show up with honesty and accountability.

Constant criticism

Constantly criticizing your partner damages both of you. It drains you both, divides you, and is a poor attempt at getting something to change.

How many of you criticize your partner for loading the dishwasher wrong … not checking emails … not planning out your anniversary? (Veronica Cisneros)

Make a list of the ways that you have often criticized your partner, and again, be honest with yourself. It is important to call yourself out because for a long time, you might’ve been stuck in this cycle, and nothing will change unless you change.

If you are criticizing in your marriage, I’m going to tell you right now that that’s one of the four horsemen. Gottman calls this one of the four horsemen because it’s one of the predictors of divorce if you’re constantly criticizing … if that’s you, honey, I’m going to tell you right now, knock that shit off. (Veronica Cisneros)

Refusing to compromise

Relationships will sometimes require compromise and sacrifice, and when one partner flat-out refuses, it can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration.

Do not compromise who you are to meet the needs of the relationship, but there are areas in which you will need to compromise some of your wants to make things work.

What are five things that you are willing to compromise for the sake of your marriage?

Again, in no way, shape, or form am I asking you to compromise who you are to meet the needs of the relationship, but I am most definitely asking you to be aware and mindful of what things might be impacting your relationship negatively. (Veronica Cisneros)

Useful links:

• Join our FaceBook Page – Empowered and Unapologetic
• FREE masterclass! Marriage Communication CPR
• Take the Marriage Predictor quiz!
• Follow me on Instagram
• Check out the new website! https://veronicacisneros.org/
• Outside The Norm Counseling – 951 395 3288 call to schedule an appointment today!
• 5 Things that are Killing your Marriage Free Guide available at www.veronicacisneros.org

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Hello, my name is Veronica Cisneros, I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Marriage Coach, Course Creator, Retreat Host, Mother of 3, married for 23 years, host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast, and owner of a group private practice called Outside The Norm Counseling.

A lot of couples struggle with setting aside intentional time to connect and communicate. They yearn for meaningful conversations that don’t lead to arguments.

1 month away from divorce, I realized I had to do something different. For years I had compromised myself to meet the needs of my husband and my child, I lost myself and was about to lose my marriage. After years of personal growth and self-reflection, I not only reclaimed my identity, and celebrated 23 years of marriage but also helped hundreds of couples transform their marriage from feeling like roommates to experiencing a deeper love.

I am on a mission to help couples reignite the fire by providing them with the skills to have the relationship they deserve.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or do the Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

Did you enjoy this podcast? Feel free to share this podcast on social media! You can also leave a review of the Empowered and Unapologetic Podcast on Apple Podcast {previously iTunes) and subscribe!