How To Challenge Your Inner Villain with Heather Monahan | EU 916 min read

November 15, 2021

Have you found yourself in a situation where people bring you down and doubt your capabilities? Then what happens Mama, you end up doubting yourself and your own internal insecurities come to the surface. Insecurities are your inner villain, that voice of self-doubt could be what is holding you back from living your best life, […]

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I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, marriage coach, course creator, retreat host, mother of 3, married for 23 years and host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast. 


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Have you found yourself in a situation where people bring you down and doubt your capabilities? Then what happens Mama, you end up doubting yourself and your own internal insecurities come to the surface.

Insecurities are your inner villain, that voice of self-doubt could be what is holding you back from living your best life, realizing your potential, and attaining any goals that you have set out for yourself. There might be so much past pain, so many stories you have told yourself and in addition to that, your husband might be validating some of those insecurities that you already feel.

It’s time that we learn how to challenge our inner villain. I am so excited to have Heather Monahan on this podcast episode. In this episode, Heather takes us through her powerful and proven 3 step process to overcome any adversity in business or in life. The 3 step process is broken down into 3 parts, namely – beliefs, actions, and knowledge. Ladies, grab your pen and paper – you are going to want to take notes!

Meet Heather Monahan

With more than 900,000 downloads of her new podcast, Heather Monahan is a top podcaster, keynote speaker with the Harry Walker Agency, entrepreneur, and founder of Boss In Heels LLC.

Having successfully climbed the corporate ladder for nearly 20 years, Heather Monahan is one of the few women to break the glass ceiling and claim her spot in the C-suite. As a Chief Revenue Officer in the media industry, Heather Monahan is a Glass Ceiling Award winner, was named one of the Most Influential Women in Radio in 2017, and Thrive Global named her a Limit Breaking Female Founder in 2018.

Her show—Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan, inspired by her first book, Confidence Creator—debuted in May 2019 on PodcastOne.

Visit her website. Connect on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and listen to her podcast here.

In This Podcast


  • Heather’s three action steps
  • Your internal villains are born from insecurities
  • Addressing someone who is a villain to you
  • Heather’s advice to overwhelmed parents

Heather’s three action steps

1 – Look at the belief that you are holding and break it down into what the facts are.

Often these beliefs that we have about certain situations are unfounded or are founded on aspects that are either untrue or skewed perceptions of reality. Therefore, you can challenge their validity, and break them down so that you can reframe the situation in your mind.

Once you demystify that belief, break it down into the most simplistic fact that there is, and often times there’s none, there’s no fact to it. (Heather Monahan)

2 – Take action immediately to remove this limiting belief from your mind. Address the facts, if there are, and challenge the belief with what is really true instead of what you think is true.

3 – Surround yourself with knowledge and people who are already at the place where you want to get to in your life.

Put yourself in circles of people who believe in you and encourage you to pursue your goals and those who do not bring you down or discourage you. Keep repeating this process to move through the challenges to overcome them.

Your internal villains are born from insecurities

The first step to overcoming your insecurities is to observe who you are surrounding yourself with: are the people in your circle encouraging you, building you up, and rooting for you?

Or are they speaking fear into your plans, doubting your skills, and trying to keep you small?

First, change your outer circles of friends and loved ones and fill them with people who uplift you, so that you can start tackling your internal insecurities.

When we do have that outside villain, they’re exposing insecurities that we already have about ourselves internally. If we can work on those insecurities, then that villain no longer has power over us. (Veronica Cisneros)

Addressing someone who is a villain to you

  • Communicate with that person what your needs are: at the core of relationships, you must ask for what you want, in both business, family, and life. If they cannot provide you with what you ask, then send them love and move along.

Until we’re direct in communicating with “here’s what I need”, “here’s what I want” in a conversation in … a calm and direct fashion, you ask for what you need. If that person says, “thank you for pointing that out” and changes behavior, great! That’s a win, you’ve changed the situation. Or the person could say yes but that bad behavior comes back again and that’s where you have to hold somebody accountable. (Heather Monahan)

  • Once you have communicated your needs and it is met with respect and attention, and behavior has changed, then the situation has been remedied.
  • If you communicate your needs and they are not listened to or are not taken into consideration, then you need to hold them accountable and lean on your boundaries.
  • If no change is made, even over time with boundaries in place, there need to be consequences. You cannot allow someone to treat you poorly.

Heather’s advice to overwhelmed parents

Understand that frustration and feelings of overwhelm are all temporary. Next, take action, no matter how messy. A messy action taken is better than no action at all.

Books mentioned:

Heather Monahan – Confidence Creator

Heather Monahan – Overcoming your Villains: Mastering Your Beliefs, Actions, and Knowledge to Conquer Any Adversity

Useful links:

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Veronica Cisneros | Empowered And Unapologetic PodcastI’m a licensed therapist and women walk into my office every day stressed and disconnected. As a mom of three daughters, I want my girls to know who they are and feel confident about their future. I can’t think of a better way to help other women than by demonstrating an empowered and unapologetic life.

So I started  Empowered and Unapologetic to be a safe space for women to be vulnerable and change their lives for the better before she ever needs to see a therapist.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook communityjoin the VIP community, or attend our annual retreat,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

Did you enjoy this podcast? Feel free to share this podcast on social media! You can also leave a review of the Empowered and Unapologetic Podcast on Apple Podcasts (previously iTunes) and subscribe!

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I’m Veronica, your new Boss MOM Mentor with no filter and no BS. 

I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, women’s coach, course creator, and retreat host. Married for OVER 20 years, raising three girls, and the host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast. 

Enough about me… 

My jam? Helping high-achieving women thrive both at home and in the hustle of work.

I've been there.

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