How To Build a Strong, Healthy, and Loving Marriage without Losing Yourself with Emily Hay | EU 1866 min read

September 11, 2023

What is the best key to success in marriage?

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I'm veronica!

I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, marriage coach, course creator, retreat host, mother of 3, married for 23 years and host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast. 


Reconnect with Your Partner

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On-demand two hour workshop and workbook to bring your stale relationship back to life!

What is the best key to success in marriage? Why should you make the invisible work visible to your partner? How can you get back on the same page with your partner where you truly support, love, and respect one another?

In this podcast episode, I am so excited to have Emily Hay on. Together we talk about how to build a strong, healthy, and loving marriage without losing yourself.

Meet Emily Hay

Emily A. Hay is the Founder & CEO of Hay There Social Media, a unique training company that upskills women across the U.S. with a proven program to be freelance social media managers.  This work-life integrator has been published in Fast Company, and Business Insider and has appeared on NBC and CBS.  Emily and her husband are featured in the Fair Play Documentary produced by Reese Witherspoon’s Hello Sunshine, written and directed by Jennifer Siebel Newsom, based on Eve Rodsky’s NYTimes Bestselling book which can be seen on Hulu, Amazon Prime Video, Apple TV+, YouTube.  They bravely shared their personal journey to find fairness and equity around the invisible labor in the home that historically falls on women.  

Emily A. Hay is championing a new dialogue around the ability for freelance and upskilling to be a solution for women seeking true work and life integration. 

Connect with Emily Hay on her website. Find her on Instagram.

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  • It’s more common than you realize
  • Make the invisible work visible
  • Allow for the grieving period
  • The key to keeping a marriage alive

It’s more common than you realize

When people struggle in their marriage, they might feel like they are the only ones who are having a hard time.

What documentaries and books like Fair Play show the world is that perhaps luckily and unluckily, these issues are more common than you think.

It provided me with a sense of hope because anybody who watches that documentary will be able to see themselves in it. (Veronica Cisneros)

Many people in marriages struggle with power, money, and communication issues.

We’re not a unique couple, which is sad and comforting at the same time. (Emily Hay)

It’s not unusual, but that doesn’t mean that it has to be normal.

Make the invisible work visible

Very often working mothers and wives will take over the majority of the household chores because they think that their husbands “can’t do it right” or they simply feel like they can do it better.

Even if you could do it better, wouldn’t it be easier to allow your partner to help you so that you could share the load instead of you feeling like you have to do it perfectly on your own?

First of all, they can, and they might not know all that needs doing and so that’s a process, it’s not just a one-time download, unpacking all the steps brought some visibility to what otherwise was not even seen and therefore not appreciated. (Emily Hay)

The more that the work is made visible and the effort that it is given is shared, the more that you and your partner can work as a team to get through everything together without resentment building between the two of you.

Allow for the grieving period

Every person has preconceived ideas about what “should” happen in a marriage, and what each partner “should” do or is good at doing specifically.

Once you start down this journey, you will come to realize that what you used to think about partnerships is probably holding you back from building the right one with your partner.

That mindset of thinking that I had to be the one that did it all, that mindset I had to work on and let go of and change. (Veronica Cisneros)

You may need to grieve what you thought was true to make way for what is genuinely the best thing to do.

The key to keeping a marriage alive

The number one key that’s going to keep a marriage alive is friendship. Are you guys the best of friends? Can I trust that you will be there? Can I trust that you will be there when I’m struggling with emotions and feel validated by you? That takes skill. (Veronica Cisneros)

Can you trust your partner to stay open and receptive to you when you need to have vulnerable conversations with them? Can you trust that your partner will listen to you even if you disagree on something?

Maintaining a friendship with your partner within your marriage is a key to success because it means that your marriage surrounds you trusting, respecting, and caring for one another beyond simply being partners; you care for one another as people.

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Meet Veronica Cisneros

Veronica Cisneros | Empowered And Unapologetic Podcast

Hello, my name is Veronica Cisneros, I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Marriage Coach, Course Creator, Retreat Host, Mother of 3, married for 23 years, host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast, and owner of a group private practice called Outside The Norm Counseling.

A lot of couples struggle with setting aside intentional time to connect and communicate. They yearn for meaningful conversations that don’t lead to arguments.

1 month away from divorce, I realized I had to do something different. For years I had compromised myself to meet the needs of my husband and my child, I lost myself and was about to lose my marriage. After years of personal growth and self-reflection, I not only reclaimed my identity, and celebrated 23 years of marriage but also helped hundreds of couples transform their marriage from feeling like roommates to experiencing a deeper love.

I am on a mission to help couples reignite the fire by providing them with the skills to have the relationship they deserve.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or do the Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

Did you enjoy this podcast? Feel free to share this podcast on social media! You can also leave a review of the Empowered and Unapologetic Podcast on Apple Podcast {previously iTunes) and subscribe!

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I’m Veronica, your new Boss MOM Mentor with no filter and no BS. 

I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, women’s coach, course creator, and retreat host. Married for OVER 20 years, raising three girls, and the host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast. 

Enough about me… 

My jam? Helping high-achieving women thrive both at home and in the hustle of work.

I've been there.

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Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Marriage Coach, Course Creator, Retreat Host, Mother of 3, Married for over 20 years.

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© veronica cisneros 2022




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