What is it like raising an adult child attending college? How can you prepare them to take financial responsibility? What can you and your partner do to support them while letting them begin their young adult lives?

In this podcast episode, I am so excited to have my Lizard Leggs also known as Aaliyah Cisneros, on the show with me. We talk all about setting boundaries with your college adult child. If you have a college-going child or one heading off to college soon, listen up, this is a great podcast!

Summary

• Be there to help when necessary
• What parents need to know from college kids
• A college kid’s advice to others starting soon
• Household finance agreements
• Veronica’s tips for parents with adult kids

Be there to help when necessary

One of the toughest parts of parenthood is trying to prepare your child for the world in the best ways possible. They need to be able to handle life themselves and stand by the choices that they make along the way.

However, you don’t need to leave them stranded. Teach your kids that you will be there for them when they truly need a little hand along the way and trust that they will ask you for help. Show up for them when they do.

I might not have taught you every single thing that I wanted to teach you. However, one thing is for certain, I did teach you that no matter what, if you need help, that I will be there for you. (Veronica Cisneros)

Teach your kids that they can count on you to be there for them.

What parents need to know from college kids

Listening to understand and not listening to fix is a pretty big thing. (Aaliyah Cisneros)

Most of the time, young adult kids want to figure things out on their own. Even though it is tough, they want to have a hand in their life and see how they can make things work.

Sure, there will be times when things crash and burn but then they learn valuable lessons on how to fix things, put the pieces together, and get their life back in order with the skills that they have learned.

Even though it is tough, parents need to let their kids go through that process instead of swooping in to save them and never letting them experience some toughness. Help them when they ask, but let them try it first.

Parents, don’t try to fix your kid. Your kid just wants you to listen. They don’t want you to just jump to conclusions or jump to, “Okay, well, I have to be at their rescue.” (Aaliyah Cisneros)

A college kid’s advice to others starting soon

Aaliyah’s advice to future and aspiring college students include:

• Try to get your own room or rent a dorm with fewer people to reduce unnecessary stress or relationship strain.
• If you are in a dorm with many people, set hard boundaries in the beginning.
• If you have to stay at home, then do so, because there is no shame in it. Rather live somewhere you are comfortable instead of risking your mental or financial health just to live in a dorm.
• Be brave and do new things because you have to give yourself opportunities to grow and develop. Be intentional about meeting as well as creating the adult that you want to become.

You have to know who you are outside of being a child. (Aaliyah Cisneros)

Household finance agreements

Aaliyah and her parents came up with some financial rules and agreements for her to abide by for the time that she is living at home during her studies. Some of these include:

• Paying small rent
• Paying for her car and car insurance
• Taking care of her own phone bill

Having to pay rent and contribute to the family bills has helped to teach Aaliyah financial responsibility because she had to learn how to budget.

Veronica’s tips for parents with adult kids

• Make sure that you teach your child how to budget
• Listen without trying to fix
• Work as a team with your partner

What ended up happening was after encouraging Aaliyah to work and budget, I started to see my daughter grow. I started to see my daughter’s level of confidence increase, and I started to see her feel more empowered. (Veronica Cisneros)

Useful links:

• Join our FaceBook Page – Empowered and Unapologetic
• Take the Marriage Predictor quiz!
• Follow me on Instagram
• Check out the new website! https://veronicacisneros.org/
• Outside The Norm Counseling – 951 395 3288 call to schedule an appointment today!
• 5 Things that are Killing your Marriage Free Guide available at www.veronicacisneros.org

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Hello, my name is Veronica Cisneros, I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Marriage Coach, Course Creator, Retreat Host, Mother of 3, married for 23 years, host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast, and owner of a group private practice called Outside The Norm Counseling.

A lot of couples struggle with setting aside intentional time to connect and communicate. They yearn for meaningful conversations that don’t lead to arguments.

1 month away from divorce, I realized I had to do something different. For years I had compromised myself to meet the needs of my husband and my child, I lost myself and was about to lose my marriage. After years of personal growth and self-reflection, I not only reclaimed my identity, and celebrated 23 years of marriage but also helped hundreds of couples transform their marriage from feeling like roommates to experiencing a deeper love.

I am on a mission to help couples reignite the fire by providing them with the skills to have the relationship they deserve.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or do the Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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