Has your marriage experienced growing pains as your business develops? How do you navigate earning more than your partner? What does it take the find the true balance between what is needed and what is wanted?

In this podcast episode, I talk to attorney, Nicole Swartz about how high-achieving women can build strong marriages.

Meet Nicole Swartz

Nicole Swartz is an attorney for women business owners.

She started as a corporate attorney. And then a funny thing happened…Nicole started a skincare company.

She created a formula, packed her car with products, and headed to a tradeshow. In two years, they went from a side hustle to a full-time international company. They were in the Golden Globes Gift Bags and hundreds of stores around the world.

One day, Nicole woke up to a cease + desist letter in her inbox. Someone trademarked her brand. They owned the exclusive right to her business name and she couldn’t use it anymore. Nicole had to rebrand everything in 30 days.

Nicole became OBSESSED with trademarks: she didn’t want anyone else to lose their brand. So she learned everything about them and her friends started asking her to trademark their brands. Nicole realized that she loved working with women to start + grow their businesses. She then sold her skincare brand and started her own law firm – a law firm for women.

Connect with Nicole on her website. Find her on Instagram, and find her on Youtube.

Summary

• Managing a business and a marriage
• Finding the balance
• Change the rules

Managing a business and a marriage

For most typical households in the US, women are the “backdrop” of the household: they send the Christmas cards, remember to pick up the laundry, and schedule the annual medical appointment, and the PTO meetings.

Often, the husbands are not held to the same expectation by society, and so the extra work falls on the wife. When she gets busy with a business, who picks up that slack?

It was a very confusing thing because it’s like you want to be an equal partner, but why is it falling on you to pick up the slack? We were not really prepared for how to handle it. (Nicole Swartz)

When both partners are working, the household chores and work divide have to look different to the standard. Both partners need to communicate, be held accountable, and contribute to the running of the household.

Finding the balance

There have definitely been points in the relationship where I’ve seen myself push pause on family life for a little too long, and then we have this moment where I’m like, “You’re not putting in any effort!” and he’s like, “You’re not putting in any effort at all, you’re somewhere else.” (Nicole Swartz)

It is incredibly important to be aware of what you accuse your partner of, especially if it comes from a strong emotional response.

Do you feel strongly that your partner is not making a genuine effort? Sometimes this may be true, but sometimes this feeling may come from your personal feelings of guilt for not being truly present either.

It’s been hard for us to both recognize and probably more so me that I do need to put in more effort into the family side of things too, like, have the type of relationship that I want. (Nicole Swartz)

Of course, you cannot put 100% of your energy into family, business, and personal life all at the same time.

There will be an ebb and flow to your process and to how you dedicate yourself wherever and however it’s needed, but the point is that you maintain that level of intentional, self-awareness, and honesty with yourself.

Change the rules

You can change the rules, totally!

What do you and your partner want the marriage to look like? How can you two build your dream relationship together as a team, and support one another along the way?

How can you navigate between what you think you should do versus what you and your partner want to do?

You do not have to make your life suit the standard. You can change the rules and create a life that you both feel happy, fulfilled, and comfortable living while pursuing your goals.

Lately, I’ve really been trying to meditate on what I actually want. Like, I think success to me is just figuring out what makes you happy, and doing that. (Nicole Swartz)

Useful links:

• Join our FaceBook Page – Empowered and Unapologetic
• Take the Marriage Predictor quiz!
• Follow me on Instagram
• Check out the new website! https://veronicacisneros.org/
• Outside The Norm Counseling – 951 395 3288 Call to schedule an appointment today!
• 5 Things that are Killing Your Marriage Free Guide available at www.veronicacisneros.org
• Nicole’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-marginian-swartz-098184134/
• Nicole’s Website: https://www.sproutlaw.com/about
• Nicoles’s LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/sproutlaw
• Nicole’s YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4JOycPAI1o6w5_voCGWcnA/featured
• Nicole’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sproutlaw/
• Nicole’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sproutlaw
• Nicole’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/sproutlaw/

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Hello, my name is Veronica Cisneros, I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Marriage Coach, Course Creator, Retreat Host, Mother of 3, married for 23 years, host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast, and owner of a group private practice called Outside The Norm Counseling.

A lot of couples struggle with setting aside intentional time to connect and communicate. They yearn for meaningful conversations that don’t lead to arguments.

1 month away from divorce, I realized I had to do something different. For years I had compromised myself to meet the needs of my husband and my child, I lost myself and was about to lose my marriage. After years of personal growth and self-reflection, I not only reclaimed my identity, and celebrated 23 years of marriage but also helped hundreds of couples transform their marriage from feeling like roommates to experiencing a deeper love.

I am on a mission to help couples reignite the fire by providing them with the skills to have the relationship they deserve.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or do the Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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