Can you feel that your marriage has more to offer both you and your partner? Has the connection between you two dimmed or faded? How can you find the spark and both be motivated to build a loving and fulfilling marriage?

I am so excited to share this podcast episode with you. I am joined by my Husband, Willie. We dive deep in this podcast and talk about getting your husband more involved in fixing your marriage.

Summary

• Outline the situation
• “How did we get here?”
• Own your parts
• Come to the retreat!

Outline the situation

Many men can struggle with identifying that there is a problem that they cannot solve because they pride themselves on being the provider, and on being the fixer.

It can be difficult for men to admit or agree to get help because, for them, it might feel like a failure. That pride can blind them, and actually create the very thing that they fear the most. 

Sometimes because of the amount of pride that, I would say, a lot of men have, because of this feeling of having to have it all together and not wanting to own our faults is that it may be the awakening of the spouse telling their husband, “I’m telling you that if we don’t do this, I’m considering possibly leaving you.” (Willie Cisneros)

In extreme cases, it may take the spouse telling their husband that they’re going to leave unless they change up their act to spark a change. However, it doesn’t have to get to that point.

“How did we get here?”

Reestablish your connection. How did it all start? Where, when, and how did your love for one another begin? And when and how did it start to change?

You may both be clearly suffering in the marriage, with hopes of returning to each other and bringing it all around. You can come together on that simple desire: let’s reconnect.

Ask yourself and say to one another:

• How did we get here?
• How did we lose the passion and intimacy that we shared?
• I miss us, and I feel like something is missing from where we are now

The love is there. The love is definitely there, but it’s kind of like this feeling of shame, and this feeling of loss, yes, they did lose their best friend, and shame because they also stopped being their partner’s best friend. (Veronica Cisneros)

Own your parts

Either by yourselves, alone, or in the neutrality of a room with a therapist, you and your spouse need to have a completely honest and open conversation – without judgment!

Use “I” statements, not “you” statements. Speak completely and fully from your perspective. How do you feel? What do you desire? What is the dream you want?

Both of you have to own some part of the failure in – or where you’re at at this moment – your marriage. You both have to own your part in it saying, “This is where we used to be, this is where I want to be”. (Willie Cisneros)

Come to the retreat!

The retreat – with a special guest, Willie! – is going to be focused on helping you and your spouse reconnect and reinfuse your marriage with intention, connection, and love.

It’s not going to be easy: you will be challenged and encouraged to dig deep and to make it work because that’s why you’re there.

At this retreat, we will be laser-focused on identifying what those past pains are for you specifically. Once you’re able to identify [them], you’re also going to be taught how to heal them because whether you believe it or not, they’re impacting your marriage. (Veronica Cisneros)

These conversations need to be had so that you can start connecting and reconnecting with one another.

Storing up resentment can damage your connection if left unattended. Instead of walking on eggshells to avoid the landmines, let’s learn how to address the conversation. (Veronica Cisneros)

Useful links:

• Join our FaceBook Page – Empowered and Unapologetic
• Follow me on Instagram
• Check out the new website! https://veronicacisneros.org/
• Outside The Norm Counseling – 951 395 3288 call to schedule an appointment today!
• A Better Marriage Couple’s Retreat spots are OPEN – Book here
• 5 Things that are Killing your Marriage Free Guide available at www.veronicacisneros.org

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Hello, my name is Veronica Cisneros, I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Marriage Coach, Course Creator, Retreat Host, Mother of 3, married for 23 years, host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast, and owner of a group private practice called Outside The Norm Counseling.

A lot of couples struggle with setting aside intentional time to connect and communicate. They yearn for meaningful conversations that don’t lead to arguments.

1 month away from divorce, I realized I had to do something different. For years I had compromised myself to meet the needs of my husband and my child, I lost myself and was about to lose my marriage. After years of personal growth and self-reflection, I not only reclaimed my identity, and celebrated 23 years of marriage but also helped hundreds of couples transform their marriage from feeling like roommates to experiencing a deeper love.

I am on a mission to help couples reignite the fire by providing them with the skills to have the relationship they deserve.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or do the Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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