When the pandemic hit, our lives were turned upside down, and many couples are still struggling to feel connected as they once felt before. Tensions are high, fuses are short and arguments are becoming a constant occurrence. Mama, you might find you are repeating the same arguments with your partner, is that true? Do you feel stuck and disconnected from who you are? Do you want to commit to healing and loving yourself without exception?

If you answered YES to any of these questions, then this podcast episode is a must-listen for you!

In this podcast episode, I chat with *Sarah about how a busy Mom can commit to healing and loving herself again.

In This Podcast

Summary

• The impact of the pandemic on households
• How to practice emotional regulation
• Commit to healing and loving yourself

The impact of the pandemic on households

Many couples struggled during the pandemic because the forced isolation, as well as the lack of distractions from seeing friends or going out, pushed any issues to the forefront of the relationship.

You don’t have distractions, so your issues are right in front of you, and if you do not have the skills to come together and feel connected, then they’re going to take you out, you’re going to be doing everything that you can, especially as a wife and mother, to reconcile it as best as possible, but then feeling defeated and not-enough in the process. (Veronica Cisneros)

Coupled with trying to work from home, handling kids, or trying to find time for themselves, many partners felt like they were losing their sense of self and their identity amid the uncertainty and frustration.

I feel bad sometimes because I know internally what I am going through, and I know that I am struggling, but sometimes I lack that vulnerability with my husband because I want to save face. But when I am looking at everything, I’m struggling hard and I internalize a lot of that which doesn’t make it a happy home. (*Sarah)

How to practice emotional regulation

It is important to learn how emotions, thoughts, and behaviors interact with one another and are triggered by past pains that you have experienced.

1 – Write down the event: what has happened recently – or often – that triggers you?

2 – List the thoughts that come up for you during those arguments.

3 – Label all the emotions that you feel.

4 – Write down all the physical sensations that you feel during these moments.

In moments of tension and stress, people become flooded, and it becomes near impossible to find a resolution.

Take a moment to breathe, step outside, go for a walk to calm down, and come back to the conversation to find a resolution instead of arguing.

Excuse yourself, and do whatever you need to do when you are in that mode because the problem isn’t him. The problem is the issue at hand. (Veronica Cisneros)

Commit to healing and loving yourself

Insecurities and doubts can be powerful if you do not address them at their roots.

They can influence how you see situations, make you feel like you “can’t” do something, and they can make it difficult for you to believe in yourself.

Those are the lies we tell ourselves, and we stay in that flooded area, building up the stories, allowing emotions to drive us, and wanting to get rid of that physical tension, and we just blow up. (Veronica Cisneros)

For you to do something different, you need to identify what the core beliefs are that are keeping you stuck.

Often the anger that people feel toward their partners is a reflection of how they feel about themselves.

I know right now that I got to fix my shit, I know that. And I know that this is with kids or not with kids. It’s going to add fuel to the fire now with children. (*Sarah)

The goal is to be intentional with life and to enjoy it. The real joy is spending quality time with your children, your partner, and yourself.

*Disclaimer

The name of the guest has been changed to *Sarah to protect her confidentiality.

Useful links:

• Willie & Veronica Recall When It All Started – Birthday Episode | EU 112
• Use this feelings wheel to help you identify and conceptualize emotions
• Episode 110: How to Stop Fighting with Your Husband
• Episode 111: Keeping Score: How to Work Through Resentment
• FREE Guide Download – 5 Mistakes to Avoid for a Healthy Marriage
• Join The Empowered and Unapologetic Housewives Club
• Empowered and Unapologetic Instagram Page 

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Hello, my name is Veronica Cisneros, I am a licensed marriage and family therapist for over 7 years, a Group Private Practice owner, a Mother of 3, and married for over 20 years. I help housewives transform their marriage, communicate effectively and build confidence. Like you, I also struggled with cutting through the communication barriers. I felt like there was no reason for my husband and I to feel unhappy because we had it all. We just felt disconnected and our conversations were filled with avoidance, kids’ hobbies, and schedules. 

I’ve helped plenty of couples in my private practice who struggled with similar issues. With my proven strategies and step-by-step skills, I’ve helped hundreds of women reignite their marriages. I am known for helping women step outside of their comfort zones, I don’t do bandaids, I only teach life-changing healing methods.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or join our ‘Reconnect with your Husband’ Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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