There has been infidelity in your marriage, and you have decided to stay married and try again. But now, you have work to do. You may have feelings of betrayal, feelings of rejection, or feeling like you weren’t enough. You want to move forward and put this all behind you but you are not sure how to even start the healing process.

Believe it or not, I was there too. In fact, I share a very personal story in this podcast episode about my separation from Willie and how I found a love letter in the trunk of his car…from another woman!

In this podcast episode, I teach you all about healing from infidelity.

In This Podcast

Summary

• Either way, you have to do the work
• Define what cheating looks like
• Recovering from infidelity

Either way, you have to do the work

If you experience infidelity in your relationship and decide to stay with your partner or you decide to leave, either way, you have to do the work.

Otherwise, the infidelity imprisons both of you.

We end up being imprisoned by all the emotions that become attached to that feeling. That feeling of betrayal, that feeling of rejection or you feel as if you are not enough. (Veronica Cisneros)

Thinking and feeling that you are not enough because your partner cheated is an ugly emotion to feel and process.

But, it needs to be processed, because you need to realize that it is not about you not being enough, but actually, it is about your partner’s problems.

Define what cheating looks like

Within your relationship, define what cheating looks like to you and your partner, because you may have differing opinions.

You need to know what is unacceptable to them and they need to know what is unacceptable to you.

Preferably, have this conversation when both of you are not emotionally flooded.

You need to recognize what flooding looks like prior to having this conversation because when you have this conversation with your partner, you have to make sure that your emotions are in check. You want to be open to hearing what they have to say without judgment or criticism. (Veronica Cisneros)

Recovering from infidelity

1 – Realize that all of the truth does not come out during the first conversation.

2 – Depending on the severity, identify whether you should seek individual and couples counseling.

With a professional, it is going to be very beneficial, especially if you decide to stay. If you decide to stay, whatever your friends or family say doesn’t matter because they are not living your life. You are living your life. (Veronica Cisneros)

3 – The problems in the relationship may not have caused the affair, but they are extremely important to work through.

4 – It is important to go ahead and work towards a place of acceptance.

Acceptance does not mean being okay with something, but it means acknowledging reality for what it is right now.

Radical acceptance is when you stop fighting reality, stop responding with impulsive, destructive behaviors when things aren’t going the way you want them to, and let go of the bitterness that may be keeping you trapped in a cycle of suffering. (Veronica Cisneros)

5 – Do not choose to suffer. Acceptance is a path to change, and suffering is the choice to repeat the same hurt because you do not accept the reality because you refuse to accept it.

Do not chain yourself to the past. Heal by accepting the reality, acknowledging it, and giving yourself the space to heal.

6 – What can you learn from this? What do you want to do?

Useful links:

• How a Busy Mom can Commit to Healing and Loving Herself | EU113
• RECONNECT WITH YOUR HUSBAND WORKSHOP – SIGN UP NOW – MAY 4TH
• FREE Guide Download – 5 Mistakes to Avoid for a Healthy Marriage
• Join The Empowered and Unapologetic Housewives Club
• Empowered and Unapologetic Instagram Page 

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Hello, my name is Veronica Cisneros, I am a licensed marriage and family therapist for over 7 years, a Group Private Practice owner, a Mother of 3, and married for over 20 years. I help housewives transform their marriage, communicate effectively and build confidence. Like you, I also struggled with cutting through the communication barriers. I felt like there was no reason for my husband and I to feel unhappy because we had it all. We just felt disconnected and our conversations were filled with avoidance, kids’ hobbies, and schedules. 

I’ve helped plenty of couples in my private practice who struggled with similar issues. With my proven strategies and step-by-step skills, I’ve helped hundreds of women reignite their marriages. I am known for helping women step outside of their comfort zones, I don’t do bandaids, I only teach life-changing healing methods.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or join our ‘Reconnect with your Husband’ Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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