Are you the one who only organizes everything around the holiday season? Do you feel frustrated with your partner for not helping you more? How can you get rid of these old habits and actually communicate and listen to one another so that you are working as a team?

In this podcast episode, I talk about being united as we stand and navigating holiday tensions as a couple

Summary

• Do the holidays drive you crazy?
• Different family dynamics
• It’s not personal
• Embrace differences
• Touch each other!

Do the holidays drive you crazy?

The holidays, while cheerful, can also amplify conflicts in our relationship. It’s not just about the actual day, it’s about everything leading up to it; the plannings, the expectations, and yes, the frustration! (Veronica Cisneros)

Have you felt frustrated and that it’s unfair that you have to do everything yourself while your partner enjoys the rest?

Do you feel frustrated that you have to organize the food and the gifts, and that one simple request from your partner goes uncompleted?

I realized something: I was the one that was choosing to allow this to happen. I was allowing all of this to happen, and instead of taking action, I complained and blamed. How many of you are in that same scenario? (Veronica Cisneros)

Different family dynamics

For both you and your partner, you both grew up with different understandings of how a family runs a home, who does what, and how the tasks are split.

It’s unreasonable to expect your partner to just “know” what to do. You both need to sit down and discuss what was normal in your household when you were kids, and what you both want to co-create in your home now.

Here’s what’s important: getting back on the same team with your partner. (Veronica Cisneros)

It’s not personal

If you and your partner are arguing over the holiday season, the first thing that you also have to realize is that it is not personal – the challenges you are facing and the arguments you are having are not reflections of your worth.

The challenges you’re facing aren’t a reflection of your worth or your partner’s love for you. It’s about the situation, not you as a person. (Veronica Cisneros)

Today, I want you to remind yourself of this! Yes, there will be challenges, but this is not a reflection of how much they love you, so don’t use it as ammunition.

Embrace differences

You don’t have to agree on everything, and you also don’t have to do everything the same way! You are two different people, so you will have two different ways of navigating situations.

The important part is to listen to one another and make adjustments where possible. Find a compromise by collaborating, using both of your skill sets and mindsets, instead of trying to fight to the top.

What’s crucial is finding a way to support each other and work as a team despite these differences. (Veronica Cisneros)

Touch each other!

Be on the same team through touch as well! Give one another hugs, embraces, and kisses to remind you – both physically and by being present – that you are working as a team, that you are by each other’s side, and not against.

Showing one another this solidarity and affection before a big family holiday celebration is crucial, and it allows you to know that you both have each other at heart.

Again, this is Christmas. Our goal is for us to be together, right? And so, if we can position a problem as the problem, and each other as our partners, not the problem, then we’re going to get through this holiday just fine. (Veronica Cisneros)

Repairing a conflict doesn’t have to be tough, although it’s a skill many people haven’t learned. Focus on being a team with your partner and working together against problems, instead of each other.

Remember that the holidays are not about perfection, but about connection, and intention!

Useful links:

• Join our FaceBook Page – Empowered and Unapologetic
• Take the Marriage Predictor quiz!
• Follow me on Instagram
• Check out the new website! https://veronicacisneros.org/
• Outside The Norm Counseling – 951 395 3288 call to schedule an appointment today!
• 5 Things that are Killing your Marriage Free Guide available at www.veronicacisneros.org

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Hello, my name is Veronica Cisneros, I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Marriage Coach, Course Creator, Retreat Host, Mother of 3, married for 23 years, host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast, and owner of a group private practice called Outside The Norm Counseling.

A lot of couples struggle with setting aside intentional time to connect and communicate. They yearn for meaningful conversations that don’t lead to arguments.

1 month away from divorce, I realized I had to do something different. For years I had compromised myself to meet the needs of my husband and my child, I lost myself and was about to lose my marriage. After years of personal growth and self-reflection, I not only reclaimed my identity, and celebrated 23 years of marriage but also helped hundreds of couples transform their marriage from feeling like roommates to experiencing a deeper love.

I am on a mission to help couples reignite the fire by providing them with the skills to have the relationship they deserve.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or do the Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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