It’s that time of the year again…Present shopping, gift wrapping, menu planning, putting up decorations, and, let’s not forget…the in-laws are coming over for Christmas!  Tension is high, and you feel as though your Husband always puts your In-laws over you and the kids. You are already dreading the festivities and just wish it was all over…sound familiar? Do you struggle with your in-laws?

Mama, do you know how to set healthy boundaries with your husband to create a beneficial relationship with your in-laws? Do you know how to practice empathy with your in-laws?

If you answered NO to any of these questions, I got you girl! Join me, Veronica Cisneros on this episode, where I talk all about how to deal when your Husband puts his in-laws over you and the kids.

In This Podcast

Summary

• Accept people for who they are and who they are not
• Why do they trigger you?
• Have a conversation with your husband
• Placing respectful boundaries

Accept people for who they are and who they are not

If we do not accept people for who they are and who they are not then we are going to be in this dysfunctional pattern trying to change people. I’m going to tell you right now, it does not work. (Veronica Cisneros)

Even if you have the best of intentions, you cannot change people, even if it would be for their good.

People are the creators of their own lives. It is not possible to expect someone to be something that you desire or want because they are ultimately in control of their actions and decisions.

Acceptance will help to bring you peace because it makes you realize that you cannot be responsible for someone else’s behavior.

Why do they trigger you?

Ask yourself why this particular person triggers you.

What is it about their behavior, about themselves, or how they act towards others, that bothers you?

What do you feel emotionally and physically when you are around them when they act the way that bothers you? Validate them for yourself. For a moment, put your emotions to the side and take on the observer role.

Join my private free Facebook group!

Have a conversation with your husband

If you see that your husband struggles with his parents, ask him:

– what was it like growing up?

– did he have fun and feel supported and appreciated?

His truth does not have to be your truth. The way he is interacting with them is something he’s done all of his life. When you take on this empathic approach and you’re seeking to understand versus fix, your husband will start to talk to you … and open up about how this impacts him. (Veronica Cisneros)

Be an active listener to your husband instead of criticizing his parents in front of him.

Invite him to speak his truth and then let him speak and listen to him because that gives him a chance to also process his emotions around their actions without having to fear your response.

Placing respectful boundaries

1 – Identify what you want in five years from now: what do you want this relationship with your in-laws to look like.

2 – Once you have established an idea of what you want, share it with your husband.

3 – Understand what asserting yourself looks like.

When you assert yourself, you are not over-prioritizing your needs. Instead, you are sharing your needs and are open to what your husband wants and needs as well.

Be willing to negotiate but do not compromise yourself.

4 – Start small. Ask for what you want and need.

I stopped asking the question “what’s wrong with them?” and replaced it with “what happened to them?” (Veronica Cisneros)

Useful links:

• The Real Reason Why Wives are Sick, Tired and Overweight. What We Can Do About It with Dr. Stephen Cabral | EU 95
• FREE Guide Download – 5 Mistakes to Avoid for a Healthy Marriage
• Join The Empowered and Unapologetic Housewives Club
• Empowered and Unapologetic Instagram Page 

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Hello, my name is Veronica Cisneros, I am a licensed marriage and family therapist for over 7 years, a Group Private Practice owner, a Mother of 3, and married for 21 years. I help housewives transform their marriage, communicate effectively and build confidence. Like you, I also struggled with cutting through the communication barriers. I felt like there was no reason for my husband and I to feel unhappy because we had it all. We just felt disconnected and our conversations were filled with avoidance, kids’ hobbies, and schedules. 

I’ve helped plenty of couples in my private practice who struggled with similar issues. With my proven strategies and step-by-step skills, I’ve helped hundreds of women reignite their marriages. I am known for helping women step outside of their comfort zones, I don’t do bandaids, I only teach life-changing healing methods.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or attend our annual retreat,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

Did you enjoy this podcast? Feel free to share this podcast on social media! You can also leave a review of the Empowered and Unapologetic Podcast on Apple Podcast {previously iTunes) and subscribe!