How Do I Know If My Marriage Needs Counseling or a Marriage Course? | EU 856 min read

October 4, 2021

“It’s just a rough patch, time will heal this surely” …“If I don’t bring it up, we won’t fight about it”…Sound familiar? I see you Mama, that smile you once had on your face is slowly fading, you are exhausted trying to keep it together for your family. When you go out to friends, you […]

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I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, marriage coach, course creator, retreat host, mother of 3, married for 23 years and host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast. 


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“It’s just a rough patch, time will heal this surely” …“If I don’t bring it up, we won’t fight about it”…Sound familiar?

I see you Mama, that smile you once had on your face is slowly fading, you are exhausted trying to keep it together for your family. When you go out to friends, you smile to pretend you are happy and everyone wishes they were like you and your husband, but at the end of the day, you are just putting up a front. Your marriage is falling apart, and you need help, right? You look at your Husband and wonder where it all went wrong. You still love him, you know in your heart you don’t want to check out, so it’s time to seek help. But what kind of help?

In today’s podcast episode, I discuss how to know if your marriage needs therapy, or whether your marriage needs a course and why you should not rely on time to fix your marriage?

In This Podcast


  • Does my marriage need therapy?
  • Marriage therapy
  • Does my marriage need a course?
  • Look at the data
  • Modules of the Course

Does my marriage need therapy?

Your marriage needs therapy if:

  • You’ve grown apart
  • You or your husband have become indifferent
  • You or your husband are developing a lack of trust from each other and start lying to one another
  • Your marriage lacks intimacy, and someone has been unfaithful
  • You fantasize about being free or living your life with someone else
  • Everything seems like a problem

When you are seeking marital therapy you are looking for a therapist that does not take sides, that does not give advice, that does not tell you to get a divorce. [A therapist] that is able to connect things from your past to your present and is able to help you identify dysfunctional patterns. (Veronica Cisneros)

Marriage therapy

Find a marriage therapist that can challenge you both to get you to step outside your comfort zone, teach you skills, and help you to implement them.

A marriage therapist is there to help you communicate and to truly get to the source of who you both are outside of the roles that you play inside the marriage. The therapist will help you to become independent of each other to become interdependent.

You have to be clear on who you are picking. Just because somebody is married does not qualify them to be a marriage therapist. (Veronica Cisneros)

  • Go onto Psychology Today, type in “marriage therapy” and read through the bios.
  • Make a note of all the therapists whose bios resonate with you and your partner and call them all.

Join my private free Facebook group!

Does my marriage need a course?

You can benefit from a marriage course if:

  • You and your husband are willing to do the work together
  • Your infrequent arguments are not often resolved
  • You desire to create a healthy connection between you and your partner
  • What you are looking for is to talk to your husband and learn how to share your feelings without the fight
  • You’re ready to feel confident in who you are
  • You are ready for tasks and step-by-step instructions that you can do by yourself or with your partner
  • You’re ready to enjoy each other again

Taking a marriage course is an opportunity that you have to catch any problems or issues before they grow larger and more frequent. When issues are left alone for long enough, that is usually when therapy is necessary.

When you’re looking at a course, you’re looking for skills, you’re looking for easy-to-use strategies to implement right away. (Veronica Cisneros)

Be sure to do a background check on the person who created the course before you take it to make sure that they are qualified.

Look at the data

  • How did your mother handle conflict?
  • How did your father handle conflict?
  • What happened in their marriage?


  • How did your partner’s mother handle conflict?
  • How did your partner’s father handle conflict?
  • What happened in their marriage?


  • How do you handle conflict?

Circle the traits that you share with your parent’s conflict management, and circle the traits that your partner learned from their parents.

Mama this is learned, it is learned behavior … this is a generational pattern that has been passed on from couple to couple. (Veronica Cisneros)

Modules of the Course

The sections in the course are structured:

1 – Doing the work. Learning about where you inherited your relationship behaviors and how you can identify them to change them.

2 – Identifying your triggers. How to become less reactive, stressed, and become more understanding. This chapter will teach you how to trust again and break unhealthy habits.

3 – What to say: identifying your communication barriers and what is holding you back from not speaking your truth. You will learn how to navigate arguments, set boundaries, and how to diffuse a heated moment.

4 – Becoming empowered. This module helps you to reconnect to who you are outside of being a wife and being a mother.

5 – How to move forward and create your vision for the future.

Useful links:

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Veronica Cisneros | Empowered And Unapologetic Podcast

Hello, my name is Veronica Cisneros, I am a licensed marriage and family therapist for over 7 years, a Group Private Practice owner, a Mother of 3, and married for 21 years. I help housewives transform their marriage, communicate effectively and build confidence. Like you, I also struggled with cutting through the communication barriers. I felt like there was no reason for my husband and I to feel unhappy because we had it all. We just felt disconnected and our conversations were filled with avoidance, kids’ hobbies, and schedules. 

I’ve helped plenty of couples in my private practice who struggled with similar issues. With my proven strategies and step-by-step skills, I’ve helped hundreds of women reignite their marriages. I am known for helping women step outside of their comfort zones, I don’t do bandaids, I only teach life-changing healing methods.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook communityjoin the VIP community, or attend our annual retreat,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

Did you enjoy this podcast? Feel free to share this podcast on social media! You can also leave a review of the Empowered and Unapologetic Podcast on Apple Podcast {previously iTunes) and subscribe!

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I’m Veronica, your new Boss MOM Mentor with no filter and no BS. 

I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, women’s coach, course creator, and retreat host. Married for OVER 20 years, raising three girls, and the host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast. 

Enough about me… 

My jam? Helping high-achieving women thrive both at home and in the hustle of work.

I've been there.

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Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Marriage Coach, Course Creator, Retreat Host, Mother of 3, Married for over 20 years.

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