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Ever feel like your marriage and business are battling for the top spot in your life? Spoiler alert: You’re not alone. The good news? Balance isn’t about choosing sides—it’s about designing a life where both can thrive. Ready to learn how? Let’s dive in.
Hey, it’s Veronica Cisneros, LMFT, here, your trusty guide to navigating the wild world of marriage, motherhood, and business. If you’ve ever felt like your career is in a tug-of-war with your family life, then buckle up. Today, I’m bringing you some golden nuggets of wisdom from my recent chat with Kay Lee Fukui, entrepreneur, co-creator of Power Couples by Design, and someone who knows a thing or two about thriving at home and in business.
Kay Lee’s story isn’t just inspiring—it’s a wake-up call for every couple juggling their relationship while running a business. Let’s dive into the juicy details.
Summary
- Hidden costs of prioritizing business include stress and resentment.
- Conflict resolution is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship.
- Clear communication involves understanding each other’s needs and expectations.
- Scheduling regular check-ins can help manage conflicts effectively.
- Defining roles based on individual strengths can minimize misunderstandings.
- Setting boundaries and scheduling time for family can prevent burnout.
The Pain Points: When Business Becomes the Mistress
We kicked off our conversation with a question that’s probably been on your mind: What are the most common challenges for married entrepreneurs? Kay Lee’s answer hit home.
“The business becomes the mistress,” she shared, reflecting on her own childhood as the daughter of a workaholic entrepreneur. Her dad’s absence at family events, including her high school graduation, left a lasting mark. Sound familiar?
She explained that many entrepreneurial couples fall into the same trap: over-prioritizing work and under-prioritizing family. The hidden costs? Resentment, unspoken conflicts, and kids who feel like they’re competing with a career. But here’s the kicker:
“Family is forgiving—but that doesn’t mean they should always come second.” — Kay Lee Fukui
Kay Lee emphasized starting small but being intentional. Whether it’s a 5-minute morning check-in with your kids or an evening walk with your spouse, these moments create connection and balance.
Hidden Costs: Why “Just One More Task” is Hurting Your Family
Here’s a tough pill to swallow: as entrepreneurs, we convince ourselves that family will always understand if we prioritize that next deadline. Kay Lee’s response to this mindset? A gentle but firm reality check.
She broke down the toll of constantly choosing business over family: unresolved conflicts, mounting resentment, and a productivity crash when you’re burning the candle at both ends.
I’ve been there, too. My husband once said to me, “I’m tired of competing with your career.” Ouch. At the time, I justified my actions by saying, “This is a business war. Pretend I’m in Afghanistan.” In hindsight, I realize how dismissive that was. The truth? My insecurities and fear of failure were driving my overwork.
“Productivity isn’t about doing more; it’s about doing what matters.” — Kay Lee Fukui
So what’s the antidote? Flip the script. Put family commitments on the calendar first, and then build your work schedule around them. And if you’re working together as a couple, play to each other’s strengths—not your assumptions. Kay Lee’s husband learned the hard way when he asked her, the creative visionary, to handle QuickBooks. Spoiler: It did not end well.
From Conflict to Connection: Mastering the Art of Clear Communication
Running a business with your spouse is like putting a magnifying glass on every crack in your relationship. But here’s the good news: those cracks can be repaired with the right tools.
Kay Lee swears by “rules of engagement”—a proactive approach to conflict resolution. In her family, this looks like:
- Taking a break if emotions run high but committing to a time to revisit the issue.
- Setting boundaries, like ending the workday with a decompression walk so business stress doesn’t spill into family time.
“Clear communication starts with asking: What do you need right now?” — Kay Lee Fukui
One story that stuck with me was when Kay Lee’s husband asked her what she needed during a heated moment. Her answer? “Just a hug.” No solutions, no lectures—just a simple embrace. That’s the power of clarity in communication.
For couples with differing conflict styles (hello, avoiders and aggressors), the key is compromise. Schedule a weekly “State of the Union” meeting where both partners get 10 uninterrupted minutes to share thoughts, concerns, or updates—no judgment, just listening.
Takeaway Tips: Building Harmony at Home and Work
Kay Lee’s program, Power Couples by Design, offers actionable strategies for creating harmony between your personal and professional lives. Here are some quick wins you can implement today:
- Set Boundaries: Define work hours and stick to them. Schedule date nights, family time, and even quarterly getaways. (And yes, actually put them on the calendar.)
- Play to Your Strengths: Use tools like the DISC assessment to identify each partner’s natural talents and assign roles accordingly.
- Create a Vision: What do you want your life and business to look like? Align your goals as a couple, and let that vision guide your decisions.
- Ask for Help: Whether it’s hiring a team or seeking counseling, don’t let pride stop you from getting support.
- Prioritize Fun: Remember, you fell in love for a reason. Reignite that spark with shared activities—whether it’s a quick coffee date or a spontaneous road trip.
“Marriage isn’t just about surviving—it’s about thriving together.” — Veronica Cisneros
The Big Picture
Balancing marriage and entrepreneurship is no small feat. It requires intentionality, communication, and a willingness to adapt. As Kay Lee reminded me during our conversation, success isn’t about choosing between your career and your family—it’s about designing a life where both can flourish.
So, what’s your next step? Maybe it’s scheduling that date night, reworking your calendar, or finally having that tough conversation with your spouse. Whatever it is, know that you’re not alone. Together, we can thrive—unapologetically.
Until next time, keep showing up for yourself and your relationships. You’ve got this.
Talk to a Therapist
If you’re ready to dive deeper into your relationship dynamics or tackle the challenges of balancing it all, the therapists at Outside the Norm Counseling are here to help. Visit outsidethenormcounseling.com/contact to take the first step toward a stronger, more connected partnership.
Meet Kay Lee Fukui
Kay Lee Fukui’s entrepreneurial spirit was shaped by her early experiences working in her family’s feed store, where she saw firsthand the cost of prioritizing business over family. After earning a Bachelor’s in Business, she gained valuable experience working in banking and serving as Ambassador President for the Alhambra Chamber of Commerce.
Since marrying Robert in 2006, Kay Lee has significantly elevated their marketing consulting firm, focusing on helping entrepreneurs achieve long-term profitability and sustainability. Her insight into the challenges faced by couples in business led to the creation of Power Couples by Design™, a program designed to harmonize work and home life.
Kay Lee’s deep empathy for the imbalance many small business owners experience fuels her commitment to blending corporate best practices with the core values of family businesses. Together with Robert, she empowers married entrepreneurs to improve both their marriage and business performance, creating a symbiotic relationship that fosters growth and balance.
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Meet Veronica Cisneros
As a leading authority in women’s empowerment and a fierce advocate for building strong networks, Veronica is your go-to guru for turning fears into victories, struggles into strengths, and doubts into boundless opportunities.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist for 10 plus years; empowering high-achieving women in business to conquer both professional heights and personal fulfillment. She doesn’t do bandaids!
Veronica has a unique approach to overcoming obstacles and smashing through the glass ceilings that loom over ambitious women. With her arsenal of practical tools, actionable strategies, and unwavering support, Veronica doesn’t just help women succeed in their careers – she helps them thrive in every facet of their lives.
But Veronica’s expertise isn’t just theoretical – it’s personal. With over 24 years of marriage, three daughters, and a soaring career, Veronica embodies the resilience and determination needed to navigate life’s challenges. As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Group Private Practice Owner, of Outside The Norm Counseling, Marriage Coach, and the voice behind the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast, Veronica effortlessly guides women to challenge themselves beyond their comfort zones.
Veronica is more than an expert – she’s a partner in transformation, turning mundane relationships into true connections. With her relatable charm and infectious humor, Veronica illuminates the path for women who refuse to settle for anything less than success in both business and relationships. Through practical tips, heartfelt anecdotes, and her trademark wit, Veronica empowers every woman to cultivate unbreakable bonds without sacrificing their ambitions.
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