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If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, resentful, or misunderstood, this episode is for you. We’ll discuss the common struggles couples face with the unspoken frustrations that build up resentment, and practical steps to make real changes in your daily life. Let’s get started!

By a show of hands, how many of you are working from home? For me, it goes back and forth. How many of you have a husband who is working from home? Show of hands. A good amount of you. I’ve been getting a lot of feedback on this topic. After receiving so much feedback, I decided, what the hell, let’s do it.

Summary

• Open communication is key to managing the workload when both partners work from home.
• Setting clear boundaries between work and home life is crucial.
• Sharing responsibilities and dividing household chores can help create a more balanced workload.
• Practicing empathy and appreciation for each other’s efforts can reduce resentment.
• Seeking professional help can provide new perspectives and tools to improve the relationship.

The Shift in Home Dynamics

First, let’s acknowledge the shift. The home, once a sanctuary from work, has become an extension of the office. This blurred boundary creates stress and challenges in balancing professional and personal life. Many people I’ve talked to, including my clients, feel there’s no escape. Boundaries are almost non-existent. People walk in during calls, or partners don’t pay attention to meetings, leading to feelings of disrespect.

Miscommunication and Unmet Expectations

One of the major struggles is miscommunication and unmet expectations. You might assume your partner understands your workload, but without clear communication, this often leads to misunderstandings. One partner might feel like they’re taking on more household responsibilities while the other doesn’t even realize it. Miscommunication is huge, and it’s one of the big things couples come in for.

“We just need to learn how to communicate. But more importantly, how are you guys as friends? Do you have a level of respect for each other? Are you connecting?” (Veronica Cisneros)

Expectations placed on your relationship may go unnoticed by your partner. Over time, compromising repeatedly without reciprocation becomes exhausting and frustrating.

Taking a Step Back

Grab a pen and paper. I want you to think about the expectations you have in your relationship. Ideally, what are you looking for? How would you like your work environment to look? Is there shared responsibility, heightened respect, and clear boundaries? What’s preventing you from achieving your goals and dreams?

When my husband, Willy, and I were both working from home, we set boundaries like closing doors to signify work time. However, stuff happens, and distractions can throw off your flow, making it hard to get back on track.

Dealing with Comparisons and Resentment

Another issue is comparison and resentment. It’s easy to compare your work stress and contributions to your partner’s. This can build resentment if left unaddressed. Think about how often you measure your contributions against your partner’s, whether it’s household chores, parenting, or lifestyle choices.

“It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your work stress and contributions to your partner’s. This can build resentment if left unaddressed.” (Veronica Cisneros)

Handling Distractions and Interruptions

Working from home means dealing with household chores, children’s needs, and the temptation to relax instead of working. These distractions can lead to decreased productivity and increased stress. For me, I’ve realized the work will always be there tomorrow unless it’s an emergency.

Real-Life Example: Amy and John

Let’s look at a real-life story. Amy and John both transitioned to working from home during the pandemic. Initially, they were excited, thinking it would bring them closer. However, Amy started feeling overwhelmed by household chores and childcare. She felt John wasn’t pulling his weight, and John felt Amy didn’t appreciate his work stress. This lack of communication created a cycle of misunderstanding and resentment.

Breaking the Cycle

So how do we break the cycle and make real, achievable changes? First, identify your main struggle: miscommunication, unmet expectations, comparison and resentment, distractions, or interruptions. Give it a name and write it down. Then, consider how you might be part of the problem. I hold everyone equally accountable because that’s the only way real change happens.

“If you’re looking for me to blame one person, you got the wrong podcast. This is not it. I’m going to hold you equally accountable.” (Veronica Cisneros)

Steps to Take

1. Open Communication: Schedule regular check-ins to discuss work and household responsibilities. Be honest about your needs and listen to your partner’s needs without judgment. Gottman calls it a stress-reducing conversation. Spend 20 minutes, 10 minutes each, sharing your struggles without criticism or trying to fix things.
2. Set Boundaries: Create clear boundaries between work and home life. Designate separate workspaces if possible and establish work hours to prevent work from spilling into personal time. Communicate these boundaries clearly to your partner.
3. Share Responsibilities: Divide household chores and childcare responsibilities. Make a list and rotate tasks to ensure both partners are contributing equally. Use tools like Fair Play cards to help divide tasks.
4. Practice Empathy and Compassion: Understand that both you and your partner are struggling. Be patient with each other and work together to find solutions that work for both of you.

Remember, change doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, effort, and a willingness to navigate uncharted waters together. If you need further help, don’t hesitate to seek therapy. Let’s work towards building a balanced and respectful work-from-home environment that supports both your professional and personal lives.

Conclusion

In conclusion, ladies, if you’re struggling with this issue, remember you’re not alone. We all crave affirmation and love, but it’s equally important to nurture our own sense of self-worth. If you’re feeling stuck and ready to explore these challenges more deeply, consider reaching out for professional help. Here at Outside the Norm Counseling, we’re here to support you on your journey to self-discovery and confidence. For more information, go to Outside the Norm Counselingor call us at 951-395-3288.

Thank you for joining me today. Remember, you are beautiful, you are worthy and empowered. Until next time, stay unapologetically you. Bye for now.

Useful links:

• Join our FaceBook Page – Empowered and Unapologetic
• Take the Marriage Predictor quiz!
• Follow me on Instagram
• Check out the new website! https://veronicacisneros.org/
• Outside The Norm Counseling – 951 395 3288 call to schedule an appointment today!
• 5 Things that are Killing your Marriage Free Guide available at www.veronicacisneros.org

Meet Veronica Cisneros

As a leading authority in women’s empowerment and a fierce advocate for building strong networks, Veronica is your go-to guru for turning fears into victories, struggles into strengths, and doubts into boundless opportunities.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist for 10 plus years; empowering high-achieving women in business to conquer both professional heights and personal fulfillment. She doesn’t do bandaids!
Veronica has a unique approach to overcoming obstacles and smashing through the glass ceilings that loom over ambitious women. With her arsenal of practical tools, actionable strategies, and unwavering support, Veronica doesn’t just help women succeed in their careers – she helps them thrive in every facet of their lives.

But Veronica’s expertise isn’t just theoretical – it’s personal. With over 24 years of marriage, three daughters, and a soaring career, Veronica embodies the resilience and determination needed to navigate life’s challenges. As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Group Private Practice Owner, of Outside The Norm Counseling, Marriage Coach, and the voice behind the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast, Veronica effortlessly guides women to challenge themselves beyond their comfort zones.

Veronica is more than an expert – she’s a partner in transformation, turning mundane relationships into true connections. With her relatable charm and infectious humor, Veronica illuminates the path for women who refuse to settle for anything less than success in both business and relationships. Through practical tips, heartfelt anecdotes, and her trademark wit, Veronica empowers every woman to cultivate unbreakable bonds without sacrificing their ambitions.

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Thanks for listening!

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