EU 228: Unlocking True Independence: A High-Achieving Woman’s Guide to Freedom and Fulfillment6 min read

July 3, 2024

The desire to be free from repeating old patterns.

how to set boundaries with parents & in-laws
how to stop fighting with your husband
How to Deal with an Emotionally Unavailable Husband
Now Trending:
I'm veronica!

I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, marriage coach, course creator, retreat host, mother of 3, married for 23 years and host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast. 


Reconnect with Your Partner

tell me more

On-demand two hour workshop and workbook to bring your stale relationship back to life!

Listen on Apple. Listen on Spotify. Listen on YouTube.

Hey ladies, welcome to the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast! I’m Veronica Cisneros, a licensed marriage and family therapist, mother of three, and I’ve been married for 24 going on 25 years. As we approach the 4th of July, a day that symbolizes freedom and independence, I want to dive into the challenges many high-achieving women face when it comes to breaking free from old habits and familial expectations. Today, you’ll learn to recognize these patterns, take actionable steps toward independence, and break free from the cycles that hold us back.


  • Recognize and acknowledge the repeating patterns in your relationships
  • Learn to set healthy boundaries with others
  • Seek professional help to break free from emotional bondage
  • Work on self-validation rather than seeking validation from others
  • Have honest conversations with loved ones about your needs and boundaries

Recognizing the Patterns

So, a lot of you might be thinking, “Wait a minute, Veronica, I am independent. Independence is practically my middle name!” And I get that. Many of you know your stuff inside out, whether it’s in business or at home. But when it comes to our relationships, even our business relationships, some of us still struggle with a burning desire for acceptance and self-validation.

We often find ourselves stuck in emotional and psychological chains, yearning to break free from old patterns but held back by fear and loyalty to our families. This kind of bondage isn’t just about physical constraints; it’s about those invisible emotional chains we don’t always see until they’re pointed out.

My Personal Journey

I can totally relate. Recently, a friend and I started a Bible study workbook that I had begun ten years ago but never finished. This workbook taught me so much about the bondage I was in, and though I’m still working through it, it’s been a struggle wanting to repeat the same patterns, expecting different results. It dawned on me that a lot of us, myself included, rely on familiar patterns because we know what to expect.

Whenever things get tough, I’m quick to call my best friends or my husband, replaying scenarios and asking for validation. This constant need for acceptance disrupts my sleep and my day. But I’ve realized that sometimes, you need to accept that you did everything you could and learn to move on.

Samantha’s Story

Let me share a story about a client of mine, Samantha. Her mom watched her kids while she and her husband worked, but there was always tension. Despite paying her mom, Samantha felt indebted and constantly walked on eggshells. This strained relationship spilled over into Samantha’s marriage, causing arguments with her husband.

Samantha’s husband suggested hiring a nanny, but she couldn’t trust anyone except her mom. This led to repeated excuses and conflicts. Samantha’s success made her feel guilty, and she felt she needed to give her mom more, despite the underlying resentment.

In therapy, Samantha admitted feeling like a stranger in her own home, constantly parenting her mother. This emotional bondage affected every aspect of her life, including her professional relationships. She constantly sought validation and acceptance, primarily from her mom.

Breaking the Chains

So, why do we make excuses for our parents’ behavior? Why do we minimize their actions? It’s often because we fear confrontation and the potential fallout. This fear keeps us stuck in a cycle of emotional bondage.

In therapy, Samantha eventually realized that her mom’s behavior was an active choice, not something she needed to fix. This realization was a breakthrough moment, highlighting the importance of setting healthy boundaries and seeking professional help when needed.

Actionable Steps to Achieve Independence

Here are some actionable steps to help you achieve true independence:

  1. Acknowledge the Pattern: Recognize the repeating patterns in your relationships. Write them down.
  2. Set Healthy Boundaries: Identify who is easy to set boundaries with and who is difficult. Rate them on a scale of 1 to 10.
  3. Seek Professional Help: Therapy can provide the tools and support needed to break these cycles.
  4. Self-Validation: Work on validating yourself rather than seeking it from others.
  5. Open Communication: Have honest conversations with your loved ones about your needs and boundaries.


Independence isn’t just about physical freedom; it’s about breaking free from emotional and psychological chains. If you find yourself struggling with these issues, remember that help is available. Therapy can provide the support and tools you need to achieve true independence.

Useful links:

Meet Veronica Cisneros

As a leading authority in women’s empowerment and a fierce advocate for building strong networks, Veronica is your go-to guru for turning fears into victories, struggles into strengths, and doubts into boundless opportunities.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist for 10 plus years; empowering high-achieving women in business to conquer both professional heights and personal fulfillment. She doesn’t do bandaids!
Veronica has a unique approach to overcoming obstacles and smashing through the glass ceilings that loom over ambitious women. With her arsenal of practical tools, actionable strategies, and unwavering support, Veronica doesn’t just help women succeed in their careers – she helps them thrive in every facet of their lives.

But Veronica’s expertise isn’t just theoretical – it’s personal. With over 24 years of marriage, three daughters, and a soaring career, Veronica embodies the resilience and determination needed to navigate life’s challenges. As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Group Private Practice Owner, of Outside The Norm Counseling, Marriage Coach, and the voice behind the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast, Veronica effortlessly guides women to challenge themselves beyond their comfort zones.

Veronica is more than an expert – she’s a partner in transformation, turning mundane relationships into true connections. With her relatable charm and infectious humor, Veronica illuminates the path for women who refuse to settle for anything less than success in both business and relationships. Through practical tips, heartfelt anecdotes, and her trademark wit, Veronica empowers every woman to cultivate unbreakable bonds without sacrificing their ambitions.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or do the Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

Did you enjoy this podcast? Feel free to share this podcast on social media! You can also leave a review of the Empowered and Unapologetic Podcast on Apple Podcast {previously iTunes) and subscribe!

+ show Comments

- Hide Comments

add a comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

I’m Veronica, your new Boss MOM Mentor with no filter and no BS. 

I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, women’s coach, course creator, and retreat host. Married for OVER 20 years, raising three girls, and the host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast. 

Enough about me… 

My jam? Helping high-achieving women thrive both at home and in the hustle of work.

I've been there.

How To Deal with a Negative Husband

get it now


How To Work Through Resentment

read it

free download

 Top Resources

How To Stop Fighting with Your Husband

get it now


Setting Boundaries with Parents and In-laws

read it

free download

5 Things That Are Killing Your Marriage

In this guide, I'll share the simple strategies that help my clients go from feeling like roommates to reigniting their relationship and falling in love again.   


Free guide

5 Things Killing Your Marriage

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Marriage Coach, Course Creator, Retreat Host, Mother of 3, Married for over 20 years.

veronica cisneros

© veronica cisneros 2022




instagram >

follow along 
on Instagram: