Does it seem like your husband refuses to see a problem? Do your concerns sometimes feel dismissed? How can you communicate your needs and have them actually be heard by your partner?

In this podcast episode, I talk about how to get your Husband to see that there is a problem and ways to rekindle what you once felt for each other.

Summary

• What is the issue?
• Conversation starters to connect with your husband
• Rekindling the spark with your partner

What is the issue?

Sure, partners can disagree on the level of importance around certain topics, but sometimes something can be urgent for one partner and non-existent for the other.

What does the conflict feel like or look like in these situations, do you feel as if:

• Your partner does not hear your words or the meaning behind them?
• You are being ignored or even unintentionally gaslit?
• The change they make is temporary and the old problem arises again each time?

How am I supposed to get my husband to see that there’s a problem? Well, this is a common complaint that I get from so many women. It’s almost as if their husbands refuse to see that there’s an issue, almost as if they’re afraid to see there’s an issue. (Veronica Cisneros)

Conversation starters to connect with your husband

1 – Start with a positive statement. Begin your conversation by expressing your love and appreciation for your husband because this will help to set a positive tone for the conversation, and show that you are not attacking him.

2 – Use “I” statements to express how you feel instead of blaming him or making him the sole culprit of the problems in the marriage.

Try saying, “I feel like we’re not as close as we used to be”, or, “I’m worried about our future together”. (Veronica Cisneros)

3 – Be specific about the issues that are causing problems in your marriage instead of throwing out a blanket of frustration.

For example, if you feel like your husband is not spending enough time with you, explain how this makes you feel and why it is important to you.

Ladies, as you are utilizing these conversation starters, I also want you to be open to him expressing his feelings as well, without judgment or criticism. (Veronica Cisneros)

4 – Listen to your husband because it’s important to also hear his response and point of view which helps you to find common ground and therefore a solution.

Remember that the “truth” is subjective, and there isn’t always a clear right and wrong when it comes to arguments. You need to hear one another out, truly, and decide together how to move forward.

Nobody owns the truth. This is his truth just like you have your truth, but if the goal is for you to open up and for you to have these uncomfortable conversations and for you to get him to see that there is even a problem, then it’s going to be very important that you listen to his perspective. (Veronica Cisneros)

You do have to agree with his perspective, but you do have to listen and understand it.

5 – Avoid bullying and criticism. In those heated moments, it feels tempting to shun or criticize your partner and bully them because you maybe want them to feel the same frustration that you are feeling.

Do not give in to that temptation, because it only causes more trouble, and doesn’t help either of you in the long run.

6 – Seek professional help. If you are having trouble communicating with your husband or finding a solution to recurrent issues in your marriage, find a therapist that you can both talk with to find a way back to one another and forward together.

Rekindling the spark with your partner

When did you and your partner stop trusting each other? When did you two stop being friends?

Even though you two may have drifted, you can repair it, and that’s even more possible when you are both present and willing to do the work.

Useful links:

• Join our FaceBook Page – Empowered and Unapologetic
• Take the Marriage Predictor quiz!
• Follow me on Instagram
• Check out the new website! https://veronicacisneros.org/
• Outside The Norm Counseling – 951 395 3288 call to schedule an appointment today!
• 5 Things that are Killing your Marriage Free Guide available at www.veronicacisneros.org

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Hello, my name is Veronica Cisneros, I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Marriage Coach, Course Creator, Retreat Host, Mother of 3, married for 23 years, host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast, and owner of a group private practice called Outside The Norm Counseling.

A lot of couples struggle with setting aside intentional time to connect and communicate. They yearn for meaningful conversations that don’t lead to arguments.

1 month away from divorce, I realized I had to do something different. For years I had compromised myself to meet the needs of my husband and my child, I lost myself and was about to lose my marriage. After years of personal growth and self-reflection, I not only reclaimed my identity, and celebrated 23 years of marriage but also helped hundreds of couples transform their marriage from feeling like roommates to experiencing a deeper love.

I am on a mission to help couples reignite the fire by providing them with the skills to have the relationship they deserve.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or do the Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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