Is it ever ok to hide money from your spouse? | EU1175 min read

May 16, 2022

You and your Husband have not been getting along, when you argue he has even threatened to leave a few times, or you might have even thought of leaving. But how…you rely on him financially. So you think about hiding money, you know, a “just in case fund”. Let me ask you Mama, do you […]

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I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, marriage coach, course creator, retreat host, mother of 3, married for 23 years and host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast. 


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You and your Husband have not been getting along, when you argue he has even threatened to leave a few times, or you might have even thought of leaving. But how…you rely on him financially. So you think about hiding money, you know, a “just in case fund”.

Let me ask you Mama, do you feel insecure in your relationship? What do you honestly want in your life and from your marriage? Do you really think it is okay to hide money from your spouse?

In this podcast episode, I share a personal story of mine that I went through during my separation from my husband, Willie. In this podcast, I go into detail about why it is never a good thing to hide money from your spouse.

In This Podcast


  • Don’t live your life in fear
  • “This too shall pass”
  • No, do not hide money
  • Develop a conversation

Don’t live your life in fear

Mama, I know that feeling. I know you’re scared and I know that right now uncertainty is clouding your judgment … although it feels like you have no control over the situation and it feels like your best option is to run, I’m going to argue and challenge you and say, “No”.  (Veronica Cisneros)

When you are afraid, nervous, or feeling unsafe, you may act irrationally or without considering the full picture because you are anxious to find a sense of safety.

However, it is in these moments that you need to take a step back.

There have been so many things that were difficult that you have accomplished – remember them!

Confidence is trusting that you are capable of doing anything, even when fear and your insecurities are present. (Veronica Cisneros)

You are more capable than you realize, and you do not – and should not – be living your life in fear.

“This too shall pass”

At times when life is difficult, it can feel as if this is how it is going to be forever. The stress and anxiety feel constant, and perhaps never-ending during stressful and uncertain times.

Remind yourself that “this too shall pass”.

At different points in your life, you have been in situations that you thought were dead ends, and you still made it work. What is now will not always be.

How do you want to participate in it? Do you want to participate driven by fear, or participate with skill, and not allowing that discomfort to overwhelm you? (Veronica Cisneros)

No, do not hide money

So, to answer your question, no. Do not hide money from your spouse.

Absolutely not. Hiding money is a form of lying, deception, and will only come to bite you in the ass later. (Veronica Cisneros)

Explore why you do not trust your partner and why you are preparing for the relationship will end.

What if you worked on yourself, on the goals that you have, and stopped waiting for someone (or something) to permit you to live your life? How are you using this time to work towards your goals?

Ask yourself:

  • How can you have an honest conversation with your partner to ensure you are on the same page?
  • What are your fears surrounding money?
  • What are your goals?

This is helpful for both of you to understand, and it will strengthen your marriage and also build trust and healthy communication. (Veronica Cisneros)

Develop a conversation

I know you are afraid and uncertain, but do not turn to deception to make it better. Do not hide things that need attention in your marriage.

You are worthy of making a change in your life for the better, even if it is uncomfortable, even if it is scary.

Mama, you are not stuck. No one has power over you. I know you question it, but there’s also a part of you that’s willing to move forward in the relationship but that fear has scared you … one thing that’s not happening is that you’re not developing skills for working through that fear. (Veronica Cisneros)

You need to know that your needs and wants are worth the discomfort that you may experience in seeking a solution.

Do you want to make the relationship work? Then hire a professional, learn new skills, and be willing to work on yourself.

You have to be an active participant in your life. You have to be willing to step outside your comfort zone and do something different because if you do not do the work and you end up leaving him, you’re going to end up in another relationship with the same problems and the same thing is going to come up over and over until you are ready to look at yourself and do the work. (Veronica Cisneros)

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Meet Veronica Cisneros

Veronica Cisneros | Empowered And Unapologetic Podcast

Hello, my name is Veronica Cisneros, I am a licensed marriage and family therapist for over 7 years, a Group Private Practice owner, a Mother of 3, and married for over 20 years. I help housewives transform their marriage, communicate effectively and build confidence. Like you, I also struggled with cutting through the communication barriers. I felt like there was no reason for my husband and me to feel unhappy because we had it all. We just felt disconnected and our conversations were filled with avoidance, kids’ hobbies, and schedules. 

I’ve helped plenty of couples in my private practice who struggled with similar issues. With my proven strategies and step-by-step skills, I’ve helped hundreds of women reignite their marriages. I am known for helping women step outside of their comfort zones, I don’t do bandaids, I only teach life-changing healing methods.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or join our ‘Reconnect with your Husband’ Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

Did you enjoy this podcast? Feel free to share this podcast on social media! You can also leave a review of the Empowered and Unapologetic Podcast on Apple Podcast {previously iTunes) and subscribe!


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I’m Veronica, your new Boss MOM Mentor with no filter and no BS. 

I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, women’s coach, course creator, and retreat host. Married for OVER 20 years, raising three girls, and the host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast. 

Enough about me… 

My jam? Helping high-achieving women thrive both at home and in the hustle of work.

I've been there.

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Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Marriage Coach, Course Creator, Retreat Host, Mother of 3, Married for over 20 years.

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