You’ve had a big argument and in the heat of the moment all these emotions come over you, you feel like he is being dismissive, you feel completely invalidated, you feel unheard, you feel unsupported, and sadly…you feel alone.

Mama, do you sometimes feel that your partner is not hearing you? Are you wanting them to validate your experience and feelings? Have you ever stopped and thought about the story you built up in your head vs what is really going on?

In this podcast episode, we’re doing things differently. Willie and I are on the road on the way to Yosemite to celebrate our Anniversary. We had a conversation about how to deal with an emotionally unavailable husband, and I got Willie to give his insight on this topic too. Come along for the ride.

In This Podcast

Summary

• Check your perception
• Check your sentences
• Talk to yourself

Check your perception

Is it really that he’s emotionally unavailable, or is it how I’m perceiving it? Am I perceiving it in a way that he’s dismissive of emotions because he’s not where I’m at? (Veronica Cisneros)

We build stories in our minds to make sense of what is happening around us. Those stories may paint the people that we love in a bad light if it is the only way that we feel that we can – at that moment – make sense of our surroundings.

It is important to remember that sometimes these stories are not facts, they are perceptions. Often, they are perceptions of people that we create when we feel stressed, scared, or hurt, which means that we may align them with the blame.

What are the stories about your husband that you build up in your head when you are arguing?

Check your sentences

When you are speaking to your partner about something, and you want to enlist their help or their energy, notice how you structure your sentences.

Swop:

• Grab,
• Pick,
• Give me,

With:

• Will you,
• Can you,
• Would you.

If you start your sentence off with things like that it’ll make things a lot easier as far as the way it’s received from us, and how we respond back … talking at us versus talking to us. (Willie Cisneros)

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Talk to yourself

In moments of acute stress and overwhelm you can validate your feelings. Even if they are not true, or could be further examined, at the moment that you feel anger or stress, validate it.

Notice that you are upset because much of the further frustration can come from feeling as if no one is validating your experience, but you can.

Give yourself validation that right at this moment you are unhappy so that you can take the necessary steps to examine that unhappiness and move forward.

Do not personalize your partner’s actions. Their actions reflect where they are at.

1 – identify the story in your head

2 – challenge the story

3 – practice self-validation

Useful links:

• How To Build Core Strength by Supporting Your Husband? | EU 86
• FREE MASTERCLASS SIGN UP – Oct 19th and Oct 20th
• Sign up for the VIP membership
• Join The Empowered and Unapologetic Housewives Club
• Empowered and Unapologetic Instagram Page 

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Hello, my name is Veronica Cisneros, I am a licensed marriage and family therapist for over 7 years, a Group Private Practice owner, a Mother of 3, and married for 21 years. I help housewives transform their marriage, communicate effectively and build confidence. Like you, I also struggled with cutting through the communication barriers. I felt like there was no reason for my husband and I to feel unhappy because we had it all. We just felt disconnected and our conversations were filled with avoidance, kids’ hobbies, and schedules. 

I’ve helped plenty of couples in my private practice who struggled with similar issues. With my proven strategies and step-by-step skills, I’ve helped hundreds of women reignite their marriages. I am known for helping women step outside of their comfort zones, I don’t do bandaids, I only teach life-changing healing methods.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, join the VIP community, or attend our annual retreat,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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