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If you have ever managed a budget with one hand and a bedtime routine with the other, welcome. You are among your people.

This week on Empowered and Unapologetic, I sat down with Tiffany Irving, a financial strategist with 25 years of experience helping families build wealth with actual intention. And before you assume this is going to be one of those “stop buying lattes” lectures, let me save you the stress. Tiffany hates that narrative too. Bless her.

Because the truth is, most working moms are not broke because they bought a coffee. They are overwhelmed because nobody taught them how to build financial clarity in a way that supports their relationship, their goals, and their nervous system.

And I know this because I had to get real, fast.

My husband and I bought an Airbnb townhouse as a business venture. We did the research. We planned. We furnished it like we were auditioning for a luxury magazine. And then reality hit: the market shifted, travel slowed, and that property started costing us about $7,000 a month when it was not fully booked.

That moment when you realize a “smart investment” is now a monthly stress bill is not cute. It is humbling. And it can turn a marriage into a financial courtroom if you are not careful.

So I asked Tiffany what so many women are silently wondering: why do successful women, especially breadwinners, struggle in relationships?

The answer is not “because you are too much.” The answer is that money carries power, fear, identity, and old baggage. Then you add gender roles, expectations, caregiving, and the pressure to be grateful for a life that is exhausting.

Tiffany put it plainly: couples have to talk about money like a team, not like opponents.

“You need to understand where it’s held, how it’s titled, how you access it, make sure you all have passwords.”

And if you are sitting there thinking, “Cool, I have none of that,” Tiffany gave a starting point that is not scary. She calls it the three P’s: prepare, plan, protect.

Prepare means getting honest about what you have and what you owe. Not vibes. Numbers. Assets, liabilities, rates, accounts, titles.

Then plan means building goals you both actually agree on. Retirement, college, travel, home ownership, business growth. Not just “we should save more,” but what are we saving for and how are we getting there.

And protect means making sure what you are building does not fall apart the second life happens. Insurance. Risk management. Estate planning. A real team. Not one person carrying all the knowledge and stress.

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.”

One of the biggest money mistakes Tiffany sees in high-achieving women is avoiding investing because it feels intimidating. Not because they are incapable, but because nobody taught them. And that has to change.

“Avoiding what we don’t necessarily understand today doesn’t mean you can’t get there.”

Here is the part I want you to take personally: the goal is not just to keep the money. The goal is to keep the marriage intact while you fix the money.

Because yes, money can be made again. But if your relationship becomes collateral damage, you will pay for it in ways no budget can cover.

So if you are silently suffering, successful on paper but exhausted inside, start here: get your numbers in front of you, pick one next step, and talk to your partner like you are on the same side. Then ask for help. A financial planner. A coach. A trusted referral. Somebody who can help you build a plan you can actually live with.

You do not have to hustle harder. You need better tools and real support.

Click here to talk to a therapist. Click here to take my on-demand 4-week course to reignite your marriage and reclaim your identity. Or, click here to explore my on-demand 2-hour workshop to reconnect with your partner.

Useful links:

• Join our FaceBook Page – Empowered and Unapologetic
• Follow me on Instagram
• Check out the new website! https://veronicacisneros.org/
• Outside The Norm Counseling – 951 395 3288 call to schedule an appointment today!
• 5 Things that are Killing your Marriage Free Guide available at www.veronicacisneros.org

Meet Kayla Logue

Tiffany Irving, CFP®, CEPA® is a Senior Vice President and Wealth Advisor with Mesirow Wealth Management, bringing over 25 years of experience guiding families and nonprofit organizations through holistic financial planning and strategic investment management.

A first-generation college graduate, Tiffany began her career as an assistant at a financial firm and built her path step by step. Today, she is the breadwinner in her family and understands firsthand the pressure, responsibility, and decision fatigue that often accompany financial success. That lived experience shapes how she works with clients and why her passion is centered on educating and empowering women to confidently take control of their financial futures.

Tiffany specializes in working with high-net-worth individuals, families, and nonprofit organizations, helping them accumulate, grow, protect, and distribute wealth through customized, values-aligned strategies. Prior to joining Mesirow in 2021, she held senior leadership roles at BMO Private Wealth and U.S. Trust.

A frequent speaker and trusted voice in financial education, Tiffany regularly appears on WGN Radio’s Your Money Matters and is a member of the Mesirow Speakers Bureau. She is deeply involved in her community, serving on multiple boards and organizations focused on advocacy, healthcare, and women’s leadership.

Tiffany holds a degree in Finance from DePaul University, an MBA from the University of Phoenix, and maintains her CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER® and Certified Exit Planning Advisor (CEPA®) designations.

https://www.mesirow.com/bio/tiffany-s-irving

https://www.linkedin.com/company/mesirow

https://www.youtube.com/user/MesirowFinancial

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Veronica Cisneros, LMFT, helps women stop fighting the same fight on repeat and start truly connecting in their relationships.

A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 12 years of experience, Veronica specializes in helping high-achieving women break out of destructive conflict cycles and build healthier, more connected relationships—without losing themselves in the process.

As the founder of Outside the Norm Counseling, marriage coach, and host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast, Veronica brings a no-nonsense approach to relationship healing. Her clients know—she doesn’t do bandaids. She gets to the root.

Veronica’s guidance blends practical communication tools with deep emotional insight, empowering women to challenge old patterns, repair emotional wounds, and foster real, lasting change in their marriages and families. She’s walked the walk too—with over 25 years of marriage, three daughters, and a thriving career, she knows what it takes to navigate the messiness of love, parenting, and personal growth.

Whether she’s working with couples in her practice or coaching women through relationship burnout, Veronica helps people shift from blame and burnout to clarity, compassion, and collaboration. Her honest, relatable style—and that sharp wit—make her a trusted voice for women ready to stop surviving their relationships and start thriving in them.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or do the Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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