Listen on Apple. Listen on Spotify. Listen on YouTube.

If you’ve ever Googled “how to stop spiraling” while eating trail mix with one hand and texting your teen’s principal with the other—this episode is for you.

I sat down with Danita Young, a transformation coach and 20-year health expert who is not here for the hustle culture, fake positivity, or diets that leave you eating air and regret. She’s flipping the script on everything we think we know about anxiety, weight loss, and control—and sis, you’re going to want to take notes.

Let’s dive into what she said that blew my mind—and might just reset yours.

“Anxiety is your bodyguard. It’s not trying to ruin your life—it’s trying to keep you alive.” — Danita Young

Your Anxiety Isn’t the Enemy. It’s Your Overzealous Security Guard.

According to Danita, most of us are walking around with our nervous system in full DEFCON 1. That means we’re stuck in fight, flight, or freeze—not because we’re broken, but because our survival brain is running the show.

Here’s what blew my mind: anxiety doesn’t show up to mess with us. It shows up because it thinks we’re in danger. And whether that danger is a toxic relationship, the fear of launching a business, or just the toddler’s silence (you knowsomething’s up)—your body sees it all as a threat.

Instead of fighting your anxiety, Danita suggests you actually talk to it. Yep, like a weirdo. (A weirdo who gets results.)

Try this:
“Hey, I know you’re trying to keep me safe. But I promise, making this career move—even though it’s unfamiliar—won’t kill me. You can relax.”

Science Over Surface-Level Fixes

Danita breaks it down with actual neuroscience, not just Pinterest mantras. She dives into the roles of the amygdala, basal ganglia, and something called the reticular activating system—basically, the bouncers of your brain deciding what gets in and what sets off the alarm bells.

And yes, trauma and generational anxiety get a seat at the table here too. Whether it’s passed down from grandma or picked up from life’s curveballs, our body learns to live in fear—even when we’ve outgrown the danger.

“If you’ve been raised around anxious people, it becomes familiar to worry. That’s not a personality trait—it’s a pattern.” — Danita Young

You Can’t Track What You Don’t Measure

High-achieving women (hi, us) love a checklist. So here’s what Danita recommends you actually track—because it’s time to measure your progress by more than your inbox or pant size.

1. Your Emotional Frequency
   Google “emotions measured by frequency.” Find where you live most of the time (guilt? stress? joy?). Multiply your awareness by three, divide by the need to be perfect, and you’ve got your emotional baseline.
2. Your Nervous System Zones
   Are you living in red (freeze), yellow (fight/flight), or green (rest/social)? Track it daily. Be honest. No one gets a trophy for faking calm.
3. Your Beliefs
   Ask yourself: Do I believe I’m enough? Do I believe I’m safe? Score each on a scale from 1–10. Be ready to meet the saboteur who’s been living rent-free in your brain.

“If you’re constantly working harder and still feel stuck, you’re probably out of alignment. It’s not about more effort—it’s about better direction.” — Danita Young

Regulate Before You Burn Out

Danita’s advice? Get out of insanity loops (you know, the ones where you try harder, crash harder, and still feel behind). Start patching the leaks: perfectionism, people-pleasing, saying “yes” when your soul is screaming “no.”

Then? Celebrate the hell out of your wins.

No, seriously. Don’t wait until you “earn” rest. Danita swears by this because joy is fuel, not a reward. And if you don’t celebrate becoming her—the version of you who sets boundaries and breathes easily—she might never fully show up.

Weight Loss Isn’t the Goal. Transformation Is.

Danita’s take on lasting fat loss? Stop trying to go back to the old you. That girl’s gone. You’re becoming someone new—someone who doesn’t crash diet or need a gold star for skipping dessert.

Here’s the kicker: Your subconscious might be secretly scared of the new you. Maybe she’s afraid of being seen. Maybe she’s been hiding behind the weight to stay “safe.” Either way, she’s not lazy—she’s protective.

And when we bring that truth into the light? We stop the sabotage cycle.

Emotional Intimacy > Hustle Compatibility

We also talked relationships. Spoiler alert: Women crave emotional intimacy, not just the “how was your day” autopilot talk.

If you’ve ever felt disconnected from your partner even when everything looks good on paper—it might be because you haven’t articulated what actually makes you feel seen.

Danita put it beautifully: “When I finally said, ‘I just need you to hold space while I’m a tornado of emotion,’ everything changed.”

Yep. Same.

The Takeaway

Your nervous system holds the keys to more than you think—peace, health, confidence, even connection. And while your to-do list is impressive, your calm isn’t something to earn. It’s something to reclaim.

Ready to start? Danita’s free masterclass, Three Secrets from a 20-Year Health Expert, is waiting for you at alignwithdanita.com. And if you’re really ready to stop spiraling and start stepping into the calm, confident version of yourself? Book a free assessment with her at callwithdanita.com.

Your bodyguard (aka anxiety) might freak out—but you’ve got this.

Useful links:

• Join our FaceBook Page – Empowered and Unapologetic
• Follow me on Instagram
• Check out the new website! https://veronicacisneros.org/
• Outside The Norm Counseling – 951 395 3288 call to schedule an appointment today!
• 5 Things that are Killing your Marriage Free Guide available at www.veronicacisneros.org

Meet Danita Young

Danita Young is a powerhouse transformational coach and cognitive performance expert who’s helped thousands of women break through anxiety, stress, and limiting beliefs to unlock their full potential. As the founder of Align™, a proven system that rewires the nervous system for lasting change, and Metabolism Makeover, a revolutionary program for sustainable fat loss, Danita is redefining what it means to feel strong—from the inside out.

With over $15 million in sales and a fiercely loyal community of over 350,000 women, Danita is more than a coach—she’s a movement. She’s an 8-year entrepreneur, certified personal trainer, and nationally qualified bikini competitor who brings real science, real strategy, and zero fluff to every conversation.

Danita is the founder of the women-owned, women-run brand Booty Bands®, and her mission is simple: help women regulate their nervous systems, reconnect with their power, and radically transform their lives—without hustle, shame, or perfectionism.

Digital Coordinates:

• Women Owned, Women Run  https://bootybands.com
• Reach Your Full Potential https://alignwithdanita.com Let me know, thanks for your time Danita
• https://www.instagram.com/danitayoung/
• https://www.instagram.com/bootybandsofficial/

Meet Veronica Cisneros

As a leading authority in women’s empowerment and a fierce advocate for building strong networks, Veronica is your go-to guru for turning fears into victories, struggles into strengths, and doubts into boundless opportunities.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist for 10 plus years; empowering high-achieving women in business to conquer both professional heights and personal fulfillment. She doesn’t do bandaids!
Veronica has a unique approach to overcoming obstacles and smashing through the glass ceilings that loom over ambitious women. With her arsenal of practical tools, actionable strategies, and unwavering support, Veronica doesn’t just help women succeed in their careers – she helps them thrive in every facet of their lives.

But Veronica’s expertise isn’t just theoretical – it’s personal. With over 24 years of marriage, three daughters, and a soaring career, Veronica embodies the resilience and determination needed to navigate life’s challenges. As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Group Private Practice Owner, of Outside The Norm Counseling, Marriage Coach, and the voice behind the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast, Veronica effortlessly guides women to challenge themselves beyond their comfort zones.

Veronica is more than an expert – she’s a partner in transformation, turning mundane relationships into true connections. With her relatable charm and infectious humor, Veronica illuminates the path for women who refuse to settle for anything less than success in both business and relationships. Through practical tips, heartfelt anecdotes, and her trademark wit, Veronica empowers every woman to cultivate unbreakable bonds without sacrificing their ambitions.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or do the Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

Did you enjoy this podcast? Feel free to share this podcast on social media! You can also leave a review of the Empowered and Unapologetic Podcast on Apple Podcast {previously iTunes) and subscribe!