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Ah, Valentine’s Day. The day of love, heart-shaped chocolates, and—if we’re being honest—yet another reminder that you and your husband might feel more like co-workers than lovers. Sound familiar? If your business is getting all your energy, validation, and passion, while your marriage is running on fumes, then girl, we need to talk.

The Validation Gap: Why This Keeps Happening

Let’s start with why this happens in the first place. It’s not just about work. It’s about validation.

At work, you’re thriving. You get praise, promotions, wins—hell, maybe even a viral post or a thousand likes on Instagram. It’s instant feedback telling you, You’re crushing it! But at home? You’re met with expectations. A routine. Maybe even silence. No one’s throwing confetti when you clean the kitchen or handle bedtime. There’s no “Employee of the Month” plaque for remembering to schedule the dentist appointment.

And here’s where it gets dangerous. Over time, two things start happening:

1. You start resenting your husband for not seeing you anymore.
2. He starts resenting you for choosing work over him.

I’ve been there. My husband once told me, I’m tired of competing with your career. And I won’t lie—I fired back with, Suck it up. (Yeah, not my finest moment.) That resentment? It builds. And before you know it, you’re not arguing anymore—not because things are fine, but because you just don’t care.

Are You Making Space for Him at Your Table?

Let me ask you something—are you really inviting your husband into your world? Or are you expecting him to just figure it out?

Because here’s the truth: We fight so hard for a seat at the table in our careers, but are we making space for our husbands at our own table?

If your answer is, Of course I am, but he never… Nope. Pause. This isn’t about what he’s not doing. It’s about whether you’ve actually been bringing him into your wins, your struggles, your world.

How to Shift from Awareness to Action

It’s time to stop letting your marriage run on autopilot. Here’s what you can do today to start shifting things:

1. Get Honest About Your Resentment

What exactly are you resenting him for? And be real—are you expecting him to fix it without actually telling him what you need?

2. Start Acknowledging What He Does

I know, I know. Why should I praise him when he hasn’t done sht?* But hear me out. If both of you are stuck in a cycle of resentment, neither of you want to acknowledge each other. Do it anyway. Gottman talks about admiration and fondness—when you start showing appreciation, he’ll start doing the same.

3. Train Your Brain to See the Good

Your brain clings to negative memories like Velcro but lets the positive ones slide off like Teflon. That’s why it’s so easy to recall every time he forgot something, but hard to remember the sweet moments. You’ve got to actively retrain your brain to focus on the positives.

4. Rebuild Your Connection Like You Would in Your Career

You don’t land clients without nurturing the relationship, right? So why do we expect our marriages to stay strong without effort? Be intentional.

5. Make Space for Him Again

Your calendar is full—I get it. But does it include him? Ask yourself, Does my schedule reflect my values? If you value your marriage, make space for it.

Your Career Can’t Hold You at Night

If you’re feeling like work is more fulfilling than your marriage, listen up—your career doesn’t have to come at the cost of your marriage. But if you don’t take action, your marriage will continue to suffer.

So, what’s one thing you can do today to reconnect? What’s one conversation you’ve been avoiding?

Are you willing to fight for your marriage the way you fight for your success?

Because your marriage deserves that effort. You deserve that effort.

And if you’re ready to stop feeling like you have to choose between success and love, I created Empower X just for you. It’s where high-achieving women learn how to balance career and marriage without sacrificing either.

Your career can’t love you back. But a strong, healthy, connected marriage? That, my friend, can.

Let’s do the work—together. 💕

Useful links:

• Join our FaceBook Page – Empowered and Unapologetic
• Take the Marriage Predictor quiz!
• Follow me on Instagram
• Check out the new website! https://veronicacisneros.org/
• Outside The Norm Counseling – 951 395 3288 call to schedule an appointment today!
• 5 Things that are Killing your Marriage Free Guide available at www.veronicacisneros.org

Meet Veronica Cisneros

As a leading authority in women’s empowerment and a fierce advocate for building strong networks, Veronica is your go-to guru for turning fears into victories, struggles into strengths, and doubts into boundless opportunities.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist for 10 plus years; empowering high-achieving women in business to conquer both professional heights and personal fulfillment. She doesn’t do bandaids!
Veronica has a unique approach to overcoming obstacles and smashing through the glass ceilings that loom over ambitious women. With her arsenal of practical tools, actionable strategies, and unwavering support, Veronica doesn’t just help women succeed in their careers – she helps them thrive in every facet of their lives.

But Veronica’s expertise isn’t just theoretical – it’s personal. With over 24 years of marriage, three daughters, and a soaring career, Veronica embodies the resilience and determination needed to navigate life’s challenges. As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Group Private Practice Owner, of Outside The Norm Counseling, Marriage Coach, and the voice behind the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast, Veronica effortlessly guides women to challenge themselves beyond their comfort zones.

Veronica is more than an expert – she’s a partner in transformation, turning mundane relationships into true connections. With her relatable charm and infectious humor, Veronica illuminates the path for women who refuse to settle for anything less than success in both business and relationships. Through practical tips, heartfelt anecdotes, and her trademark wit, Veronica empowers every woman to cultivate unbreakable bonds without sacrificing their ambitions.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or do the Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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