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When ‘for better or worse’ includes arguing over who gets the quiet corner for their Zoom meeting—working from home with your spouse is a true test of marriage vows. When Willie and I both worked from home, we thought it would be a breeze. Little did we know, our home would become a battlefield for Wi-Fi bandwidth and quiet space.

That’s why I’m super excited to share a conversation I had with Donald and Monica Bailey about the ups and downs of working together as a married couple. They dive into their different work ethics, how they faced challenges head-on, and the journey of building trust and overcoming fears. We also touch on their company, Epic Dental, and their mission to tackle cavities by focusing on the oral microbiome. Plus, there are some practical tips for keeping your teeth in tip-top shape. So, grab a cup of coffee, and let’s get into it!

Summary

• Working with a spouse requires facing problems head-on and finding real solutions.
• Building trust takes time and requires seeing the results of the changes being made.
• Different work ethics can be a challenge, but understanding and respecting each other’s strengths can lead to a successful partnership.
• Having a shared vision and goals for the business can help overcome doubts and fears.
• Epic Dental provides solutions for people struggling with cavities through products sweetened with xylitol. Brushing and flossing alone may not be enough to prevent cavities; it is important to change the oral microbiome and eliminate cavity-causing bacteria.
• Finding a trustworthy dentist and getting a second opinion can help ensure accurate diagnosis and treatment.
• Using xylitol gum and rinsing with water after consuming acidic foods or drinks can help maintain oral health.
• Sugar does not directly cause cavities; it is the acid produced by bacteria that leads to tooth decay.
• Educating children about oral health and providing them with accurate information is crucial for long-term oral health.

Building Trust and Overcoming Doubts

Working with your spouse can be a challenging yet rewarding experience, as Donald and Monica Bailey illustrate through their journey of managing a business together. Initially, the Baileys faced typical challenges, such as different work ethics and communication styles, which you know I can totally realte to with my own experience of working with my husband.

In this episode, Donald acknowledges that working with Monica has been filled with “sticky moments,” especially at the beginning when they were figuring out how to work together. He emphasizes that working with a spouse means there’s nowhere to escape during conflicts, forcing both parties to confront and resolve issues head-on. This constant engagement can either make or break the relationship, and for the Baileys, it has led to growth and deeper understanding.

“There’s nowhere to run. So many times in relationships, people are like, you know, you’re having a fight and you’re like, I have to go to work or I have to work late. They find ways to avoid the problems in the relationship. And I think that is what is both very difficult and also the magic of working with your spouse is that you have to face all that stuff head on and actually get to a place of real solution because there’s nowhere to escape to. I don’t know if I call it magic, but she’s right. There is nowhere to escape.” (Donald Bailey)

The turning point for Donald was recognizing his weaknesses and Monica’s strengths. He admits to having ADHD and being more of a starter than a finisher. When he brought Monica into the business, it was initially as a consultant to find someone like her. However, Monica quickly stepped in and began making significant changes. Donald likens this process to turning a beat-up soapbox derby car into an F1 racing car while it’s still driving down the road. This analogy captures the daunting nature of overhauling a business’s operations while keeping it running.

The Importance of a Shared Vision and Goals

One of the most critical moments in their journey involved a key employee who was resistant to Monica’s changes. Monica aimed to bring a culture of accountability that was previously absent, clashing with the existing employee who held significant institutional knowledge. Donald feared losing this employee, but Monica was adamant that no one should hold the business hostage. This tension highlighted the challenge of balancing necessary change with maintaining morale and continuity.

“And it’s terrifying to see my wife start to do all these things that did need to happen, but that I had to give up control for. And it was a lot of heartache and internal soul searching and then working out what it needed to look like for our relationship to make that happen. It’s never easy.” (Donald Bailey)

Monica’s intuitive sense and confidence played a crucial role in navigating these challenges. She describes having a natural ability to predict outcomes and understand the necessary steps to achieve business goals. This intuition, combined with her childhood experiences and personality, made her a formidable force in driving the business forward.

“As a wife, I want him to reach his highest potential in his career. I want him to build the business empire of his dreams, but I’m seeing the places where he’s hitting a wall over and over and over again.” (Monica Bailey)

I pointed out that Monica’s confidence and patience were vital in gaining the trust of the staff and Donald. Monica’s ability to predict and implement effective changes eventually led to significant improvements in business operations, from reducing errors to improving the overall culture. This gradual building of trust was essential in transforming the business and solidifying their partnership.

Practical Tips for Maintaining Oral Health

Donald’s perspective shifted dramatically as he saw the positive outcomes of Monica’s changes. He acknowledges that once he overcame his fears and doubts, he realized the immense value Monica brought to the business. He even humorously notes that there are days he feels Monica should run the business entirely while he steps back.

Their journey underscores the importance of leveraging each other’s strengths and being willing to confront and work through conflicts. Monica’s strategic vision and Donald’s entrepreneurial spirit complement each other, creating a dynamic partnership that has led to both personal and professional growth.

Preventing Cavities: Changing the Oral Microbiome

In summary, Donald and Monica Bailey’s story is a testament to the power of collaboration, trust, and resilience in both marriage and business. Their experience offers valuable insights for any couple considering working together, highlighting that with patience, confidence, and mutual respect, it is possible to turn challenges into opportunities for growth.

The Importance of Changing the Oral Microbiome: Yeah, no, that’s the really frustrating thing. So many people brush and floss and still get cavities, and it’s because brushing and flossing doesn’t treat the oral microbiome really. All it does is scrub off and move around that bacteria. So you’re knocking down the biofilm, but you’re not changing the biofilm. You really need to change the biofilm. Xylitol helps eliminate the streptococcus mutans. And if you’re consistently getting cavities, you have an S -mutans infection.

Brushing and flossing doesn’t solve it. I like to say you don’t bring a toothbrush to an acid fight because what you’re really getting when you get cavities is acid. And that acid is either coming from the things you choose to eat and drink, and that causes acid erosion and promotes dysbiosis is what they call it in the oral microbiome where you get the bad bacteria thriving and the good bacteria declining. So the acid can really have a challenge there. And as your teeth erode and the calcium and phosphate come out, it just creates little more footholds for the bad bacteria to get in there. So you really need to eliminate the bad bacteria. So what we recommend is two pieces of gum after each meal, snack, soda. If you do that at least three times a day, you’ll buffer against the acid that was a part of whatever you consume and your saliva will start to redeposit minerals and then the xylitol will go and work with that.

The biggest thing you can do, if you’re someone that’s had a cavity before or your kids have cavities or you’re even just worried about it, xylitol is incredibly effective for your mouth. It’s just magical. And it’s because it does two things. It kills the cavity causing bacteria because they can’t metabolize the xylitol, but they prefer it over other food sources. And so they end up dying off the healthy bacteria thrive. But the other thing it does is the sweetness in it gets your saliva flowing.

Your saliva is amazing because it can wash those minerals kind of over your teeth. They can re -deposit. And so your teeth are always kind of breaking apart and building back up depending on what your pH is looking like in your mouth. And so if you can pay attention to the pH, and so if you’re having something like sour candies, or if you’re having soda, or you’re having coffee, or you’re having a salad dressing, anything that is acidic, if you rinse your mouth thoroughly with water after, try not to graze or sip on it all day long. Try and kind of keep it to meal times.

“I like to say you don’t bring a toothbrush to an acid fight because what you’re really getting when you get cavities is acid. And that acid is either coming from the things you choose to eat and drink, and that causes acid erosion and promotes dysbiosis is what they call it in the oral microbiome where you get the bad bacteria thriving and the good bacteria declining. So the acid can really have a challenge there.” (Donald Bailey)

When you sip on a water or soda all day, you’re leaving yourself down below that remineralization line. But if you do it at meal times, you’re pretty good. In 30 minutes, you’re going to re -stabilize. When it’s the sticky candies, it takes a little bit longer to wash that out or to do something. But I would say that’s the easiest thing to do is just limit the frequency.

When you bring the xylitol into the equation and they have the chance to eat that, they will always take xylitol over any other sugars, any other food source, because they like it that much. And that is shown in the scientific literature. That’s not just our opinion. They have demonstrated that in the lab that they prefer xylitol. And so they eat it, but they can’t digest it.

So if you teach your kids, hey, this is where cavity problems come from, they can avoid it!

Talk to a Therapist

If you’re struggling, remember you’re not alone. We all crave affirmation and love, but it’s equally important to nurture our own sense of self-worth. If you’re feeling stuck and ready to explore these challenges more deeply, consider reaching out for professional help. Here at Outside the Norm Counseling, we’re here to support you on your journey to self-discovery and confidence. For more information, go to Outside the Norm Counselingor call us at 951-395-3288.

Thank you for joining me today. Remember, you are beautiful, you are worthy and empowered. Until next time, stay unapologetically you. Bye for now.

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• Outside The Norm Counseling – 951 395 3288 call to schedule an appointment today!
• 5 Things that are Killing your Marriage Free Guide available at www.veronicacisneros.org

Meet Veronica Cisneros

As a leading authority in women’s empowerment and a fierce advocate for building strong networks, Veronica is your go-to guru for turning fears into victories, struggles into strengths, and doubts into boundless opportunities.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist for 10 plus years; empowering high-achieving women in business to conquer both professional heights and personal fulfillment. She doesn’t do bandaids!
Veronica has a unique approach to overcoming obstacles and smashing through the glass ceilings that loom over ambitious women. With her arsenal of practical tools, actionable strategies, and unwavering support, Veronica doesn’t just help women succeed in their careers – she helps them thrive in every facet of their lives.

But Veronica’s expertise isn’t just theoretical – it’s personal. With over 24 years of marriage, three daughters, and a soaring career, Veronica embodies the resilience and determination needed to navigate life’s challenges. As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Group Private Practice Owner, of Outside The Norm Counseling, Marriage Coach, and the voice behind the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast, Veronica effortlessly guides women to challenge themselves beyond their comfort zones.

Veronica is more than an expert – she’s a partner in transformation, turning mundane relationships into true connections. With her relatable charm and infectious humor, Veronica illuminates the path for women who refuse to settle for anything less than success in both business and relationships. Through practical tips, heartfelt anecdotes, and her trademark wit, Veronica empowers every woman to cultivate unbreakable bonds without sacrificing their ambitions.

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