Have you noticed patterns within yourself that you want to change for the better? Why do so many high-achievers unconsciously steamroll their emotions? How can you unlock the power of your subconscious mind through easy habits to change your life and live intentionally?

In this episode, Thais Gibson, the founder of the Personal Development School, shares her journey of creating a successful online platform for personal growth. She discusses the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care, as well as the impact of personal work on relationships. This also explores common issues faced by high-achieving women and provides two steps to improve the relationship with oneself: identifying and meeting your needs, and challenging and reprogramming thought distortions. In this conversation, Thais discusses her work and the Personal Development School. She explains how the school focuses on helping people become securely attached and offers programs for belief reprogramming, understanding needs, effective communication, boundary reconditioning, and rewiring behavioral coping mechanisms. Thais also mentions the program’s focus on reprogramming the nervous system’s set point function. She shares that the Personal Development School has a community of coaches and facilitators who provide daily webinars and social events for practicing the tools.

Meet Thais Gibson

A best-selling author, Thais Gibson has a Ph.D. and over 13 certifications in modalities such as CBT, NLP, somatic experiencing, internal family systems, and shadow work.

She has nearly a decade of experience running a successful private practice and engaging with over 35,000 clients through individual sessions, workshops, and an educational platform.

The Personal Development School was created by Thais Gibson when her private practice got fully booked with a 2-year waitlist. It quickly expanded to thousands of members and counting in 115 countries. The school has over 38 million views on social media.

Connect with Thais Gibson on her website. Follow her on LinkedIn and Instagram

Summary

• Why attachment styles?
• Working with high-achievers
• How to improve the relationship with yourself

Why attachment styles?

Thais was attracted to studying attachment styles because she discovered and understood herself to be a fearful avoidant, and it was something that she wanted to change because it was impacting her relationships.

I saw a tremendous amount of chaos growing up. Big fights, big arguments, explosive divorce, all of the things! Very dramatic, and I was the oldest child, and I definitely was parentified a lot. My parents couldn’t comprehend how their actions were affecting the children in the household. (Thais Gibson)

This turbulent emotional household planted the seeds in Thais that made her believe that love and connection looked dramatic, volatile, and challenging.

For Thais, she noticed that she was great at relationships in the dating and honeymoon stages but that when it came down to building strong, vulnerable, and intimate relationships, it would often dissolve and fall apart.

As soon as things got real and I actually attached to somebody, I would unravel. I would end up in a position where I would be terrified. It felt like the more I loved someone, the more afraid I became, and I would just pinball back and forth, I knew it was happening, I just didn’t really understand it. (Thais Gibson)

This confusion led Thais to begin learning about the subconscious mind, core wounds, issues around abandonment, power dynamics, and emotional security in relationships.

She focused on:

• Learning about meeting her own needs
• Learning how to communicate effectively
• Understanding and practicing self-regulation

Working with high-achievers

When Thais has worked with high-achievers in the past, she has noticed a common issue; sometimes when high-achievers don’t admit their own vulnerabilities even to themselves.

Over-achievers can double-down so heavily on being totally self-sufficient that they lose track of pausing and giving space to what their emotions are trying to tell them, since emotions are feedback.

They may even miss when one of their boundaries has been violated until much later because they ignore and suppress their emotions because they don’t give themselves the time, space, or permission to feel them.

Funnily enough, as a result of being disconnected from our own emotions in real-time, one of the things that that often manifests as is that somebody will not even realize that their boundary has been violated because they’re so disconnected from their emotions. I say “yes” when it’s meant to be a “no” from me, and then two weeks later I’m upset and I don’t know why. (Thais Gibson)

How to improve the relationship with yourself

1 – Do needs work. Ask yourself the following:

• When I’m in a relationship with others, what would be the “perfect” things that they could do for me?
• Think about how good you are at doing these things for yourself and rate them from one to ten
• Commit to fulfilling your needs. Think of some small ways in which you can fulfill some of the needs that you have listed above.

What you’ll see is by actually being able to give some of these things in the relationship to yourself first, you’re reconditioning your subconscious comfort zone. Because funnily enough, the things that we’re not giving ourselves we struggle to receive. (Thais Gibson)

So even if you want someone to encourage you, if you do not do this for yourself, you may doubt them when they do it for you.

2 – Examine the stories from your childhood. What happened in your formative years that have laid the foundation for how you perceive the world?

There are probably many things that you think about the world that were created from what you saw your parents do as a child. So, you can do some reconditioning work with your subconscious mind to reprogram it to change how you see and show up in the world.

Utilize the power of your memories since they are emotions imbued with imagery which is what your subconscious can respond well to.

Books mentioned:

Thais Gibson – Attachment Theory: A Guide to Strengthening the Relationships in Your Life

Useful Links:

• Take the Marriage Predictor quiz!
• Follow me on Instagram
• Thais LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thais-gibson-4543ba190/
• Thais Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/?hl=en
• Thais Link collection: https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/site-links?utm_source=instagram&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=site-links
• Thais Website: https://university.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
• Thais YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

Meet Veronica Cisneros

As a leading authority in women’s empowerment and a fierce advocate for building strong networks, Veronica is your go-to guru for turning fears into victories, struggles into strengths, and doubts into boundless opportunities.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist for 10 plus years; empowering high-achieving women in business to conquer both professional heights and personal fulfillment. She doesn’t do bandaids!
Veronica has a unique approach to overcoming obstacles and smashing through the glass ceilings that loom over ambitious women. With her arsenal of practical tools, actionable strategies, and unwavering support, Veronica doesn’t just help women succeed in their careers – she helps them thrive in every facet of their lives.

But Veronica’s expertise isn’t just theoretical – it’s personal. With over 24 years of marriage, three daughters, and a soaring career, Veronica embodies the resilience and determination needed to navigate life’s challenges. As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Group Private Practice Owner, of Outside The Norm Counseling, Marriage Coach, and the voice behind the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast, Veronica effortlessly guides women to challenge themselves beyond their comfort zones.

Veronica is more than an expert – she’s a partner in transformation, turning mundane relationships into true connections. With her relatable charm and infectious humor, Veronica illuminates the path for women who refuse to settle for anything less than success in both business and relationships. Through practical tips, heartfelt anecdotes, and her trademark wit, Veronica empowers every woman to cultivate unbreakable bonds without sacrificing their ambitions.

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Thanks for listening!

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