Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you needed to place all your trust in your partner and just let go?

In which moments do you disconnect from your partner? Have you struggled with trust in the past or the present? How do you get back to your partner being your best friend and not the enemy?

In this podcast episode, I share a story with you about where I thought we were in danger. I had to let go and trust that Willie had it under control. In this podcast episode, I talk all about why you are not connecting with your partner and how to change it. Grab some pen and paper, you have some work to do.

Summary

• What are your patterns?
• Where did your trust go?
• Why do you keep score?

What are your patterns?

What do your patterns look like with regard to your relationship with your partner? How are you constantly trying to control the situation? (Veronica Cisneros)

Think about the subtle undercurrents of your relationship – if there are any – with your partner. Do you assume they do something, and then respond with another assumption?

If you feel that they start to ignore you or stop being your friend, do you do the same to them without addressing it?

Where did your trust go?

Continue to think back on your patterns. Where did you learn about this behavior? Where did you learn to mimic and give back what you receive, creating a never-ending cycle?

What happened in your childhood and how did you make sense of it? What lessons did you take from your childhood into adulthood?

I created this thought in my head, this core belief that I couldn’t trust anybody, and so I made myself responsible for everyone, and because I felt that I was responsible for everyone, if I failed, then I felt that I was unworthy. (Veronica Cisneros)

When did you stop trusting? Because that is when you start to disconnect, and that is when you try to change your partner into doing what you need them to do for you to feel like you are in control.

Why do you keep score?

When you lose trust in your partner, you begin to control them and their actions, and when you do that, you may start to keep score of all the things that they did “wrong” when you weren’t there to tell them how to do it.

When you keep score, you find reasons not to connect with your partner.

For me, it was truly letting go and I can’t tell you that it just happened one time, it happened several times, but what I realized was that those moments that I get to spend with Willie are invaluable because he 1000% has my back. (Veronica Cisneros)

Remember, your partner is your best friend! They are not your enemy. It is you and them against the problem.

Think about how you both come from different backgrounds.

Have an open conversation about how you both deal with the same problem in different ways. This encourages compassion for each other and helps you to learn how you can work together instead of against each other in moments of tension.

Useful links:

• Couples’ New Year’s Resolutions with Veronica and Willie | EU149
• Outside The Norm Counseling – Call (951) 395 3288
• FREE Guide Download – 5 Mistakes to Avoid for a Healthy Marriage
• Join The Empowered and Unapologetic Housewives Club
• Empowered and Unapologetic Instagram Page 

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Hello, my name is Veronica Cisneros, I am a licensed marriage and family therapist for over 7 years, a Group Private Practice owner, a Mother of 3, and married for over 20 years. I help housewives transform their marriage, communicate effectively and build confidence. Like you, I also struggled with cutting through the communication barriers. I felt like there was no reason for my husband and me to feel unhappy because we had it all. We just felt disconnected and our conversations were filled with avoidance, kids’ hobbies, and schedules. 

I’ve helped plenty of couples in my private practice who struggled with similar issues. With my proven strategies and step-by-step skills, I’ve helped hundreds of women reignite their marriages. I am known for helping women step outside of their comfort zones, I don’t do bandaids, I only teach life-changing healing methods.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or join our ‘Reconnect with your Husband’ Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

Did you enjoy this podcast? Feel free to share this podcast on social media! You can also leave a review of the Empowered and Unapologetic Podcast on Apple Podcast {previously iTunes) and subscribe!