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I love a woman who shows up with receipts. Not the “I read it on the internet” kind. The real kind. Nada Lena did exactly that on the podcast, casually dropping research, calling out perfectionism, and reminding all of us that confidence is not something you either “have” or “don’t.” It’s something you build, brick by brick, in the middle of real life.

Because let’s be honest. Most of us can look like we’ve got it together. We can show up for the kids, the patients, the work, the marriage, the school email chain that never ends. And still hear that voice at 2:00 a.m. saying, “But are you really enough?”

Apparently, we’re not alone. Nada shared that 83% of people say their number one challenge is self-confidence. Not time management. Not motivation. Not “finding balance.” Self-confidence. Which explains a lot about why so many high-capability women feel like they are constantly one mistake away from being exposed as a fraud.

“Nobody ever teaches you what I call macro level confidence, also known as self confidence, which is an inner belief that you are enough simply because you exist.”

Micro Confidence vs. Macro Confidence

This part hit me hard. Nada explained that most of us were trained to build what she calls micro-level confidence. You get good at a skill, earn a degree, earn a title, collect the gold stars. You become confident in what you can do.

But macro-level confidence is different. It’s the inner steadiness that says: I am still worthy even when I mess up. Even when I’m learning. Even when something falls apart.

And here’s the kicker: if your identity is built only on the external stuff, then the moment you lose the job, the relationship shifts, the season changes, or the world does what it loves to do, you feel like you lose you.

The Nine Confidence Crushers

Nada’s approach is practical, which I appreciate because “just love yourself” has never paid a bill or calmed a nervous system. She breaks self-confidence down into patterns she calls “confidence crushers” like self-talk, perfectionism, impostor syndrome, boundaries, and “enoughism” which is that brutal one where you achieve things and still feel like it doesn’t count.

Her first step is simple: get clear on which one is running the show for you right now. Not all nine. Not a whole personality overhaul. One starting point.

“Building self-confidence is not a quick fix… it’s commitment to deep inner work.”

Three Small Steps That Actually Matter

Before you go trying to become a whole new person by Monday, Nada offered three grounded moves you can start today.

First, take the free confidence quiz on RiseUpForYou.com so you can name what’s actually happening instead of spiraling in vague self-hate.

Second, audit your circle. Your people are either building you up or bleeding you out.

Third, clarify your values and non-negotiables, because every time you say yes to something that violates your gut, you chip away at your self-respect.

“Every time you say yes to something that you really don’t want to do, you’re stabbing yourself in the back.”

If you want a reframe to start with today, Nada’s is refreshingly straightforward: “You got this.” Say it out loud. Yes, out loud. Especially when you’re scared. Especially when you’re wobbling. Confidence doesn’t require a different personality. It requires practice, and you can start building yours today.

Click here to talk to a therapist. Click here to take my on-demand 4-week course to reignite your marriage and reclaim your identity. Or, click here to explore my on-demand 2-hour workshop to reconnect with your partner.

Useful links:

• Join our FaceBook Page – Empowered and Unapologetic
• Follow me on Instagram
• Check out the new website! https://veronicacisneros.org/
• Outside The Norm Counseling – 951 395 3288 call to schedule an appointment today!
• 5 Things that are Killing your Marriage Free Guide available at www.veronicacisneros.org

Meet Nada Nasserdeen

Nada Lena Nasserdeen is an internationally acclaimed thought leader, visionary, and advocate for personal and professional empowerment. As the Founder and CEO of Rise Up For You, she is a two-time #1 best-selling author and a two-time TEDx motivational speaker.

Her work has garnered media attention across prominent platforms, including Apple TV, Bloomberg, Canada’s Global TV, Radio Canada, and Amazon Prime TV. Nada can also be seen as one of the few female co-hosts of The Office Hours, a groundbreaking talk show that features interviews with celebrities, athletes, and world-renowned entrepreneurs.

In 2023, her extraordinary contributions to leadership and personal development were celebrated with a Times Square billboard in New York, a testament to her unparalleled impact.

Website: https://www.nadalena.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riseupforyou/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nadalena/

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Veronica Cisneros, LMFT, helps women stop fighting the same fight on repeat and start truly connecting in their relationships.

A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 12 years of experience, Veronica specializes in helping high-achieving women break out of destructive conflict cycles and build healthier, more connected relationships—without losing themselves in the process.

As the founder of Outside the Norm Counseling, marriage coach, and host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast, Veronica brings a no-nonsense approach to relationship healing. Her clients know—she doesn’t do bandaids. She gets to the root.

Veronica’s guidance blends practical communication tools with deep emotional insight, empowering women to challenge old patterns, repair emotional wounds, and foster real, lasting change in their marriages and families. She’s walked the walk too—with over 25 years of marriage, three daughters, and a thriving career, she knows what it takes to navigate the messiness of love, parenting, and personal growth.

Whether she’s working with couples in her practice or coaching women through relationship burnout, Veronica helps people shift from blame and burnout to clarity, compassion, and collaboration. Her honest, relatable style—and that sharp wit—make her a trusted voice for women ready to stop surviving their relationships and start thriving in them.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or do the Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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