Does your partner have separate credit cards on the side? Do you need to have a financial check-in with one another? How can you communicate to both hear your partner and be heard yourself?

Join me and my husband, Willie, in this podcast episode where we have a raw and open conversation about how to deal with a lying partner from both female and male perspectives.

In This Podcast

Summary

• Both reactions are immature
• Both people have to change their behavior
• Practice financial honesty in a family
• Veronica and Willie’s tips

Both reactions are immature

If a partner finds out that their spouse has other credit cards and assumes they are cheating or hiding something, that is a harmful assumption and immature.

If the spouse who has extra credit cards does not share information with their partner and hides it from them out of shame or pride, that is also immature.

Neither reaction is helpful, and they both aggravate one another.

If we’re in that mode where you’re feeling belittled, you’re shutting down, and she’s overreacting, what do we do? Because we know that this isn’t what builds a healthy relationship. (Veronica Cisneros)

How can each person get to a place where they can both talk and be heard?

Both people have to change their behavior

For him to be able to speak out, he needs to see that she’s not going to overreact. (Willie Cisneros)

Both spouses need to take a step back and listen to one another.

They are both feeling scared and betrayed and suppress their feelings, and the best way to fix that is for them to both agree to step back, listen, and respond with compassion.

If you want to make a change in your relationship, and this is one of the things you need to fix and recognize within your relationship, you’ve got to work on it. (Willie Cisneros)

Practice financial honesty in a family

If you have a child or children together, it does make sense to have a shared account for household and family finances.

This should be an open and honest agreement between the two spouses. Where your finances go and what you do with them when you have a family should be as openly discussed as your relationship is.

Veronica and Willie’s tips

• Have a separate conversation about money that does not piggyback off another argument. Make it an intentional conversation rooted in compassion.
• Schedule a financial date night to talk about things that you want to make improvements on regarding both people’s fears and communication.
• Be proactive and take responsibility for your actions (or inactions) and own your behaviors.

Every couple of years you need a reset. You need to figure out … how you’ve evolved as a couple over the last few years. What are the things that you can change? How have you changed? Because the person that you got together with when you first met isn’t the same person that you’re with today. (Willie Cisneros)

Useful links:

• How to Fix Power Struggles in your Relationship – Tips from a Marriage Therapist | EU 123
• FREE Guide Download – 5 Mistakes to Avoid for a Healthy Marriage
• Join The Empowered and Unapologetic Housewives Club
• Empowered and Unapologetic Instagram Page 

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Hello, my name is Veronica Cisneros, I am a licensed marriage and family therapist for over 7 years, a Group Private Practice owner, a Mother of 3, and married for over 20 years. I help housewives transform their marriage, communicate effectively and build confidence. Like you, I also struggled with cutting through the communication barriers. I felt like there was no reason for my husband and me to feel unhappy because we had it all. We just felt disconnected and our conversations were filled with avoidance, kids’ hobbies, and schedules. 

I’ve helped plenty of couples in my private practice who struggled with similar issues. With my proven strategies and step-by-step skills, I’ve helped hundreds of women reignite their marriages. I am known for helping women step outside of their comfort zones, I don’t do bandaids, I only teach life-changing healing methods.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or join our ‘Reconnect with your Husband’ Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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