What does it mean to be a father and to raise three young daughters? What is some advice that daughters have to all fathers out there? What are some of the lessons that daughters can learn from their dads? Ever tried using the same parenting techniques on each child and it doesn’t work? Why you should strive to make it easy for your kids to walk to you?

As women, how can we better support our partners as fathers? How can we make room for them to father?

In this podcast episode, we are covering Fatherhood. I am joined by my Husband Willie, and our 3 beautiful daughters, Aaliyah, Aubrey, and Brooklyn. We go through some memories, lessons, and lots of laughs.

In This Podcast

Summary

• What does it mean to be a father to daughters?
• What is the greatest lesson you’ve learned from your dad?
• Creating a safe environment
• Daughter’s advice to fathers
• Challenges of being a father
• A father’s advice to other fathers
• Don’t use the “dad” title
• The same tactics don’t work with each child
• Make it easy for your kids to talk to you
• Work as a team

What does it mean to be a father to daughters?

It gives me the chance to show my daughters how a man should treat a woman through my examples, and how I treat  Veronica as my wife, friend, and partner, and their father. (Willie Cisneros)

To be a girl dad is to be a representation of how men should treat the women in their lives.

To set the best example of what it means and what it looks like to love, respect, and care for women.

What is the greatest lesson you’ve learned from your dad?

1 – What a healthy relationship can look like.

Teenagers will often look to their parent’s example in marriage when they are starting to get to know potential partners.

Having two parents that are committed to one another and the value of their relationship sets a great example for young people, especially when their fathers are present, and set the standard of how women should be treated with love and respect.

Seeing how a healthy marriage is presented to us … a perfect couple of what you guys are supposed to do, because there’s no perfect couple, but your arguments don’t turn into fights. (Aaliyah Cisneros)

2 – Giving us what he never had.

Showing us that he wants us to live a better life than he ever had. (Aubrey Cisneros)

Parents will often strive to provide their kids with the things that they didn’t experience when they were younger. A father can do this for his children too, and provide them with support, encouragement, and love.

3 – Love.

Both Veronica and their daughters appreciate the way that Willie loves them.

Creating a safe environment

Veronica and Willie have weekly date nights with the girls, both as a family and on one-on-one dates.

They work hard to create an environment where each daughter feels completely safe to talk about their lives, how they feel, and what’s on their mind.

Whatever I want to ask him, I know that I can ask him … it’s very much like a trust thing … trusting is a big process. (Aubrey Cisneros)

Trust between parents and their children creates a powerful bond, especially when there is open communication and trust between a father and his daughters.

Daughter’s advice to fathers

Don’t judge our experience because it differs from yours. The small comments that you might make may seem like jokes to you, but they aren’t to us.
Be truthful and understanding.
You do not have to be somebody else. Be yourself while you listen to us, and let us learn in our own lives while providing support and love.

Challenges of being a father

• Trying to be perfect, or to get close to it.

As a dad I try to be perfect, and although I’m not going to be, I try to do and make sure that the things that I’m saying, my behaviors, and my actions are always the right things. (Willie Cisneros)

It is impossible to always do and say the right things, but the intention is there, and a willingness to strive to get as close to perfect as possible while maintaining compassion for wherever he lands in the process.

It’s those times that I get to learn from my own mistakes and, I get to do it all over again. (Willie Cisneros)

• Being able to be and embody the dad that he wanted as a child
• Hoping that who he is as a father is the right way to do it
• Be vulnerable, open, and transparent. To be a friend while taking the lead.

A father’s advice to other fathers

You don’t have to be a dominant figure in the household or maintain a sense of authority.

You need to be able to get on each person’s level and connect with them at where they are at.

Don’t use the “dad” title

Avoid using the “dad” title to force a connection with your kids. You cannot make them talk to you or open up to you just because you are their father.

You don’t have to use your title as “dad” to go ahead and connect. It’s actually not even about that. (Veronica Cisneros)

You still need to make a space where they feel seen, heard, and not judged for their experiences. That is the mark of when you become a father when your children feel safe to share their lives with you.

The same tactics don’t work with each child

You cannot use the same parenting skills on each child and expect to receive the same results.

Each child, even if they were all born between you and your partner, will be different and will require a slightly different parenting approach.

Don’t give up. Continue to try to figure out what makes your kids tick and go into those things while getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. Have those conversations often, have them early, and if you’ve got girls then you need to get comfortable with girl things. (Willie Cisneros)

Make it easy for your kids to talk to you

You don’t want to make your kids feel like they’re stepping on Legos just to talk to you. (Aaliyah Cisneros)

Make sure that your kids genuinely feel comfortable coming to you with questions, news, or things happening in their lives. Even if they have to admit something difficult to you, or need to confess something – that’s the most important time!

Your children need to feel safe with you – no matter what – for you to have healthy communication.

Work as a team

Work with your partner to parent your children, and be a team. Do not throw the other one under the bus if your kids ask you the same thing separately.

Useful links:

• How to Talk to Your Kids about School shootings | EU 121
• FREE Guide Download – 5 Mistakes to Avoid for a Healthy Marriage
• Join The Empowered and Unapologetic Housewives Club
• Empowered and Unapologetic Instagram Page 

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Hello, my name is Veronica Cisneros, I am a licensed marriage and family therapist for over 7 years, a Group Private Practice owner, a Mother of 3, and married for over 20 years. I help housewives transform their marriage, communicate effectively and build confidence. Like you, I also struggled with cutting through the communication barriers. I felt like there was no reason for my husband and me to feel unhappy because we had it all. We just felt disconnected and our conversations were filled with avoidance, kids’ hobbies, and schedules. 

I’ve helped plenty of couples in my private practice who struggled with similar issues. With my proven strategies and step-by-step skills, I’ve helped hundreds of women reignite their marriages. I am known for helping women step outside of their comfort zones, I don’t do bandaids, I only teach life-changing healing methods.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or join our ‘Reconnect with your Husband’ Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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