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I hit record with Wendy Valentine and immediately spiraled because my screen froze, my notes disappeared, and I said something I will not repeat in polite company. But honestly, it was the perfect start to a conversation about reinvention, boundaries, and the messy middle of becoming yourself again.

Because if you’ve ever looked at your life and thought, This can’t be it even though you’ve checked every box, marriage, motherhood, career, the whole “good girl” starter pack, you’re not broken. You’re waking up.

Wendy Valentine is a reinvention expert, empowerment coach, author of Women Waking Up, and host of The Midlife Makeover Show. She’s also a living, breathing receipt that life can absolutely hit you with a full combo meal and you can still come out the other side stronger. Wendy went through divorce, menopause, job loss, debt, illness, and grief in a brutally short window of time, and instead of letting it flatten her, she rebuilt.

Not into a “new and improved Wendy.” Into the first real version of Wendy.

“Not only can you get through it, but you can thrive through it. You can come out on the other side and kick some serious ass.”

That energy is not motivational poster energy. That’s lived experience energy.

One of my favorite moments was when Wendy said something that hit me right in the chest: we try to be all things to all people, but not all things to ourselves. And I felt personally attacked, because I was literally complaining about my body, my ankle, my stress, my everything… while refusing to take care of myself like I’m someone worth caring for.

So I finally did what we tell everyone else to do. I got help. I made changes. I stopped acting surprised that my body was begging for attention when I’d been ignoring it like an unread email from my own soul.

Wendy calls this season what it is: midlife is not the end. It’s the beginning, if you let it be.

She shared one of the most powerful mindset shifts I’ve heard in a long time: stop obsessing over the what, when, where, and how. Focus on the who. Who are you becoming. Who is the woman you want to be.

Because the dream isn’t the RV, or Portugal, or the new business. The dream is the woman sitting in the driver’s seat of her own life.

“You have to become the person that can make that dream come true.”

Then we got into the boundary work, which is where a lot of women start sweating. Wendy teaches the 4Ds: Define, Decide, Declare, Dedicate.

Define what’s okay and what’s not.
Decide what you will do when the boundary gets tested.
Declare it calmly when the moment arrives.
Dedicate yourself to holding it.

Because a boundary written in pencil is basically a suggestion.

And then we talked about guilt, the emotional weapon moms carry like it’s part of the diaper bag. Wendy said something I want you to tattoo on your forehead, backwards, so you can see it in the mirror:

“I can hand you a jar of guilt, right? Like, you’re the one that chooses.”

Whew.

Guilt shows up and tries to run the house, but you can challenge it. You can get curious about it. You can decide if it’s telling the truth or just repeating what you were taught.

Toward the end, Wendy dropped an analogy that belongs in a therapy session and a TED Talk. She referenced Michelangelo carving David: he didn’t create him, he revealed him, by chipping away everything that wasn’t him.

That’s reinvention.

Not adding more pressure, more roles, more hustle. It’s removing what’s not you. The people pleasing. The approval chasing. The “I guess this is just my life now” resignation.

Because the real you is still in there. Waiting. Breathing shallow. Hoping you’ll come back.

And maybe this is your sign.

Not to blow up your whole life overnight, but to stop abandoning yourself one small compromise at a time.

You don’t need permission to become her again.

You just need to start.

Click here to talk to a therapist. Click here to take my on-demand 4-week course to reignite your marriage and reclaim your identity. Or, click here to explore my on-demand 2-hour workshop to reconnect with your partner.

Useful links:

• Join our FaceBook Page – Empowered and Unapologetic
• Follow me on Instagram
• Check out the new website! https://veronicacisneros.org/
• Outside The Norm Counseling – 951 395 3288 call to schedule an appointment today!
• 5 Things that are Killing your Marriage Free Guide available at www.veronicacisneros.org

Meet Kamini Wood

Wendy Valentine is a reinvention expert, empowerment coach, and the author of Women Waking Up: The Midlife Manifesto for Passion, Purpose, and Play. She’s also the creator and host of The Midlife Makeover Show, the #1 podcast inspiring women worldwide to embrace midlife as a powerful new beginning.

After navigating divorce, menopause, job loss, debt, and an empty nest—all at once—Wendy stopped living on autopilot and started designing a life that finally felt like her own. Her journey from breakdown to breakthrough fuels everything she does.

Today, Wendy helps women kick fear to the curb, reconnect with their purpose, and create bold, joy-fueled lives through her book, her FREEDOM coaching method, and her transformational programs. Whether she’s leading a group of women through guided meditations or road-tripping the U.S. in her motorhome, Wendy is on a mission to prove that it’s never too late to wake up to what’s possible.

She currently splits her time between Portugal and wherever the road takes her, living proof that life gets better—not smaller—with age.

https://wendyvalentine.com

https://www.instagram.com/wendy_valentine_

https://www.facebook.com/hellowendyvalentine

https://wendyvalentine.substack.com

Meet Veronica Cisneros

Veronica Cisneros, LMFT, helps women stop fighting the same fight on repeat and start truly connecting in their relationships.

A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 12 years of experience, Veronica specializes in helping high-achieving women break out of destructive conflict cycles and build healthier, more connected relationships—without losing themselves in the process.

As the founder of Outside the Norm Counseling, marriage coach, and host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast, Veronica brings a no-nonsense approach to relationship healing. Her clients know—she doesn’t do bandaids. She gets to the root.

Veronica’s guidance blends practical communication tools with deep emotional insight, empowering women to challenge old patterns, repair emotional wounds, and foster real, lasting change in their marriages and families. She’s walked the walk too—with over 25 years of marriage, three daughters, and a thriving career, she knows what it takes to navigate the messiness of love, parenting, and personal growth.

Whether she’s working with couples in her practice or coaching women through relationship burnout, Veronica helps people shift from blame and burnout to clarity, compassion, and collaboration. Her honest, relatable style—and that sharp wit—make her a trusted voice for women ready to stop surviving their relationships and start thriving in them.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or do the Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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