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Embracing Imperfection: A Working Mom’s Journey to Self-Compassion | EU 2207 min read

May 6, 2024

Let go of the pressure of self-perfection, embrace imperfection in motherhood, choose self-compassion, and celebrate yourself

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I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, marriage coach, course creator, retreat host, mother of 3, married for 23 years and host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast. 

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Do you ever feel like you’re in a race against yourself? Moving the goalposts, constantly striving for more? Yet struggling to celebrate yourself?

As working moms, we find ourselves consumed with tasks, our minds racing even in moments of quiet. Why do we wake up to work? Why do we feel the need to solve problems constantly? Let’s talk about the chaos we create in our lives, the never-ending to-do lists, and the constant drive for perfection and the pressure to excel in every role we take on.

In this episode, we talk about the roots of this chaos and uncover the unresolved traumas from our past that contribute to our relentless pursuit of perfection. You know the drill: the constant pressure to excel in every role we take on. But why do we put ourselves through this relentless cycle?

It’s like we’re in a race against ourselves, constantly moving the goalposts and striving for more. But in the midst of all this hustle, we often forget to celebrate ourselves and acknowledge our own worth. So let’s peel back the layers and explore why we’re so hard on ourselves.

Summary

  • Struggle with constant self-pressure and the pursuit of perfection.
  • Recognize the root causes of chaos and unresolved past traumas.
  • Choose self-compassion over self-blame and perfectionism.
  • Embrace imperfection and authenticity in motherhood.
  • Celebrate oneself and other moms, shining bright despite struggles.

A Moment of Reckoning

Picture this: a music festival, a moment of supposed fun turned into a battleground of self-doubt. Amidst the chaos, I found myself pointing fingers and playing the blame game after long hours of standing in hot lines for headlines we didn’t want to listen to. I was angry. I was confused. And at the end of the night, I was embarrassed for how I behaved in front of my daughters.

We were at a country music festival. And as you’re moving, it’s just this herd of cattle. My goal was just to keep my girls safe. Willie and I were doing our best to limit any pushing, any shoving, just to keep Aubrey, Brooklyn and Aliyah safe. So we kept them between us. So people are cutting in front of you, people are pushing. And I’m going to tell you right now, although I’m a therapist, I don’t do too well in those situations. Why? Because mama bear comes out. And Mama Bear ain’t too nice when you try to cut her.

True reality of all this, [by the end of the night] I felt like a freaking monster. I felt like the worst mother in the world. I ruined this experience for my kids. This is all they’re going to remember. And I’m an asshole for this. Good job, Veronica. You ruined the music festival. (Veronica Cisneros)

But there was a moment in the night when it hit me—I had a choice. I could keep beating myself up, or I could choose self-compassion. So I took a deep breath, owned my mistakes, and apologized to my family. It wasn’t easy, but it was a game-changer.

Choosing Self-Compassion

Here’s the thing about self-compassion—it’s not about making excuses or letting ourselves off the hook. It’s about acknowledging our humanity, our flaws, and our capacity for growth. And trust me, it’s a game-changer.

So let’s challenge the narrative of perfectionism and embrace self-compassion instead. Because when we learn to forgive ourselves and show ourselves the same kindness we show others, magic happens.

Embracing Imperfection

Here’s the truth, ladies: being a good mom doesn’t mean being flawless. It means being real, imperfect, and willing to grow. And as Mother’s Day approaches, it’s the perfect time to embrace our imperfections and celebrate who we are.

So let’s ditch the pressure to be perfect and focus on being authentic instead. Because when we embrace our imperfections, we create space for connection, growth, and joy.

Despite all the challenges, frustrations and moments of anger, I realized something profound. I realized that it’s okay to be flawed, to make mistakes and to apologize when I’m wrong. We can still be good moms, flawed, but authentic, imperfect, yet loving. (Veronica Cisneros)

Happy Mother’s Day!

So here’s to us, the incredible moms who are doing their best every single day. Happy Mother’s Day! Take a moment to express your desires, celebrate yourself, and remember—you are loved, you are appreciated, and you are more than enough.

And to all the moms out there who may be struggling, remember that you are not alone. Reach out for support, lean on your tribe, and know that you are worthy of love and celebration.

I want to remind you that you deserve, all of you deserve to be celebrated. Communicate your desires to your family, express how you want to be celebrated, and most importantly, love yourself, embrace your imperfections, forgive yourself for past mistakes, and know that you are a phenomenal mom just the way you are. (Veronica Cisneros)

Conclusion: Shine Bright

Despite the chaos, the doubts, and the struggles, remember that you are rocking this mom gig. So keep shining bright, keep loving yourself, and keep embracing the beautiful messiness of motherhood.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about being perfect—it’s about being real, being present, and being you.

Empower X

Let’s create your own truth and motherhood. One that is not dictated by society or culture, but is rooted in authenticity, self-love, and acceptance. When we let go of the myth of perfection, we open up ourselves to a world of beauty, and imperfection, and the joy of being true to who we really are. Click here to join Empower X.

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Meet Veronica Cisneros

As a leading authority in women’s empowerment and a fierce advocate for building strong networks, Veronica is your go-to guru for turning fears into victories, struggles into strengths, and doubts into boundless opportunities.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist for 10 plus years; empowering high-achieving women in business to conquer both professional heights and personal fulfillment. She doesn’t do bandaids!
Veronica has a unique approach to overcoming obstacles and smashing through the glass ceilings that loom over ambitious women. With her arsenal of practical tools, actionable strategies, and unwavering support, Veronica doesn’t just help women succeed in their careers – she helps them thrive in every facet of their lives.

But Veronica’s expertise isn’t just theoretical – it’s personal. With over 24 years of marriage, three daughters, and a soaring career, Veronica embodies the resilience and determination needed to navigate life’s challenges. As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Group Private Practice Owner, of Outside The Norm Counseling, Marriage Coach, and the voice behind the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast, Veronica effortlessly guides women to challenge themselves beyond their comfort zones.

Veronica is more than an expert – she’s a partner in transformation, turning mundane relationships into true connections. With her relatable charm and infectious humor, Veronica illuminates the path for women who refuse to settle for anything less than success in both business and relationships. Through practical tips, heartfelt anecdotes, and her trademark wit, Veronica empowers every woman to cultivate unbreakable bonds without sacrificing their ambitions.

Whether you listen to the podcast, join the free Facebook community, or do the Workshop,  you’re in the right place. Let’s do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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I’m Veronica, your new Boss MOM Mentor with no filter and no BS. 

I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, women’s coach, course creator, and retreat host. Married for OVER 20 years, raising three girls, and the host of the Empowered and Unapologetic podcast. 

Enough about me… 

My jam? Helping high-achieving women thrive both at home and in the hustle of work.

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